About three weeks ago I decided to brave playgroup with both kids at Spaulding lake, about 25 min. away. It turned out to be really fun. Great weather, well behaved kids, new people to talk to that just moved in. When 1pm rolled around I would have normally packed up to get Collin home for his nap, but he was just being sooo good. And Weston was happily sleeping in his carrier. What the hay? Let's stay longer.
About 1:20pm I hear my phone beep with a missed call. It was from a friend in the ward. Hmmm. Wonder why she's calling. OH YEAH!!!! I'm supposed to be watching her kids right now so she can go to work!!!! CRAP!
I immediately try calling Trav who should be home, but could possibly be at the Shaw's mowing their lawn. No answer... x 10! He always answers! I start frantically throwing things in the stroller, grab Collin and haul it to the car. All the while he is SCREAMING his head off and everyone stops to stare at the girl who seems to have momentarily lost her marbles. I have to make two trips to get all our stuff and by now people are starting to ask what is wrong with Collin because he is literally freaking out like he's had his arm cut off.
I screech out of the parking area while calling my friend back and leaving a message begging her forgiveness and telling her I should be there in 20 min., but to go to the Shaws where Trav should be. Then I continue to try calling Trav (but with the phone in my lap, on speaker phone, because talking on your cell phone while driving out here could land you with a couple hundred dollar ticket!) I've also managed to calm Collin down by promising him an otter pop when we get home.
Finally Trav answers his phone!!! In my excitement I put it to my ear, right as I see a cop behind me. Crap! All I say is "cop" to Trav before throwing my phone down on my bag in the passenger side seat. Sure enough, lights go on and I have to pull over for the first time in my driving career. Seriously? Now?!
As he takes his time getting out of his car, I have a bright idea. I turn around and pinch Collin. Not super hard, but hard enough I'm hoping he remembers that tantrum he just finished having. No luck. So I pinch again, this time prompting him, "Scream! Come on Collin, scream!"
He just looks at me like, {Mom has gone nuts}.
So then I start saying, "No otter pop, Collin! No otter pop!"
Again with the look.
Sigh. Weston is sleeping and no chance I'll pinch that one.
By now, copper (with a nice, tall "cowboyish" hat) has come to my window and asks me if I know why he pulled me over. I'm thinking, "Ya, I was on my cell phone." But instead, opt for, "No", with a {please forgive me} look.
Then he surprises me with, "You were going 55mph in a 45." Well, glad I didn't offer MY reason! (And, REALLY.... you pulled me over for 10mph over? That is ridiculous! I was surrounded by cars going the exact same speed. You should have clocked me going TO playgroup.... I was at least 15mph over the entire time. Speed limits out here are absurd. Often 35mph on a main road.)
Then he asks me for license and registration. I open up the glove compartment with shaking hands and start sifting through a pile of registration cards... all expired. He finally points to one and says he'll take it. Then he kindly tells me to calm down... "my shaking hands are making HIM nervous". I'm sure.
Then cowboy hat goes back to his car to write me up while I sigh and rest my head against the steering wheel, listening to Collin continually ask me, "Momma, what cowboy hat doin'?" I respond, "He's writing Mommy a ticket." To which he immediately wails, "NOOOOO, Momma, NOOOO". Well, kid, next time help a lady out and start screaming next time!
Cowboy hat finally returns and informs me that our car's inspection is way past expired. And that, while our insurance is current, all our insurance cards are expired. Oh, and that we have no license plate on the front of our car (state law). Craaaaaaap.
BUT, apparently he was feeling merciful because he told me he was only writing me up for the expired inspection. But to, "watch my speed". Oh mercy.
As I pull away, now an additional 15 min. late, Collin riddles me with, "Momma, what cowboy hat doin'?" all the way home.
Collin, cowboy hat is going back to his speed trap to prey on more citizens in an attempt to make the city of Williamsville more money.
(By the way, just mailing that ticket to the court, all certified and what not, cost almost $6!)
Now, don't think me a complete delinquent... I do believe in keeping the laws of the land. And I completely deserved that ticket... but the speed requirements in NY are SO SLOW. Understandable in winter, but not so much in summer. But apparently we aren't discerning enough to make that distinction. If they really want to make some money, they ought to put cameras at lights to catch all the red light- runners. Now that would be a money maker.
Needless to say, my previously {smooth sailing} morning, went to pot in about 5 min. and I'm still bemoaning my first pull over in 12 years of driving!
Then he surprises me with, "You were going 55mph in a 45." Well, glad I didn't offer MY reason! (And, REALLY.... you pulled me over for 10mph over? That is ridiculous! I was surrounded by cars going the exact same speed. You should have clocked me going TO playgroup.... I was at least 15mph over the entire time. Speed limits out here are absurd. Often 35mph on a main road.)
Then he asks me for license and registration. I open up the glove compartment with shaking hands and start sifting through a pile of registration cards... all expired. He finally points to one and says he'll take it. Then he kindly tells me to calm down... "my shaking hands are making HIM nervous". I'm sure.
Then cowboy hat goes back to his car to write me up while I sigh and rest my head against the steering wheel, listening to Collin continually ask me, "Momma, what cowboy hat doin'?" I respond, "He's writing Mommy a ticket." To which he immediately wails, "NOOOOO, Momma, NOOOO". Well, kid, next time help a lady out and start screaming next time!
Cowboy hat finally returns and informs me that our car's inspection is way past expired. And that, while our insurance is current, all our insurance cards are expired. Oh, and that we have no license plate on the front of our car (state law). Craaaaaaap.
BUT, apparently he was feeling merciful because he told me he was only writing me up for the expired inspection. But to, "watch my speed". Oh mercy.
As I pull away, now an additional 15 min. late, Collin riddles me with, "Momma, what cowboy hat doin'?" all the way home.
Collin, cowboy hat is going back to his speed trap to prey on more citizens in an attempt to make the city of Williamsville more money.
(By the way, just mailing that ticket to the court, all certified and what not, cost almost $6!)
Now, don't think me a complete delinquent... I do believe in keeping the laws of the land. And I completely deserved that ticket... but the speed requirements in NY are SO SLOW. Understandable in winter, but not so much in summer. But apparently we aren't discerning enough to make that distinction. If they really want to make some money, they ought to put cameras at lights to catch all the red light- runners. Now that would be a money maker.
Needless to say, my previously {smooth sailing} morning, went to pot in about 5 min. and I'm still bemoaning my first pull over in 12 years of driving!
2 comments:
this is me loving you.
I just read your past 4 or 5 posts and they are hilarious!!!!
I guess I am laughing at your expense.
{I am a bad friend}
{I seriously feel for you too}
With collin being "precious" and just all of life. it is going to be so fun to read this all.
What I can't believe is that you have never gotten pulled over before. weird.
{i am glad you joined the rest of the normal population now} :)
Also, I just finished watching the bachelorette finale on hulu.
{i heart jp}
enough said.
I can totally see myself writing this exact same blog post! Haha! Right down to pinching my kid to try and make them freak out :) I love you Stephanie!
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