The Easter Pageant

It's time!! We had anticipated this for so long and it was finally time to start rehearsals!!

 Trying our costumes on for the first time after the initial fireside.

Because Travis, Olive and I had main roles, we had a few days of extra practices the first week. Then we all had two, full Saturday rehearsals and after that we began the evening rehearsals (6pm-10pm) for about 10 days before the actual performances began. For the 9 days of performances, we always had a fireside at the church building right before. Travis would just meet us there and I would pack dinner for all of us. 

SUPER SATURDAY REHEARSALS

These started at 8am and went until late afternoon. We set up our pop up canopy and chairs and brought food and games. We would run on and off the stage whenever they were rehearsing our scenes. Travis, Olive and I got to be on stage for the opening scene with just a few other main roles. It felt pretty special! As a family we got to be in the Triumphal Entry scene, the scene when Peter walks on water (we walk out quickly to sing a verse with a large multitude and then walk off again) and the finale. 

I did so much crying over Olive, I was emotionally spent. I guess one time my tears fell into her mouth so she kept her mouth closed after that, haha. I probably didn't need to go "all in" like that during simple rehearsals. But imagining your daughter has died and then is raised from the dead, is a little traumatic, night after night. I'm no actress, but I really did mentally put myself into that situation and it was extremely taxing. Many of the cast and crew would come up to us with tears in their eyes and tell us how moved they were after our scene. But how could this subject matter NOT pull at your heartstrings? We learned about a cast member who would come from the back every night to stand in the wings and watch our scene because he had lost a child. Once we were doing the actual performances I was a mess. The snot situation was an actual problem. It was so tender watching Travis ran after Jesus every night, begging for help. He flew across the stage, jumping down multiple steps and we all held our breath hoping he didn't fall. He almost did a couple times during practices! Then, the scene of the woman with the issue of blood takes place and we have to wait. I'm in the dark but I stay in character, panicking and tending to Olive, clutching her. Then I lose hope, realizing she's passed and start sobbing over her, with our kinsman near. Finally, Christ follows Travis up to us. When Christ comes and touches my shoulder, I look to him with desperate pleading and faith and whisper, "Master". He tells me she will live, then raises her from the dead. 

I've been obsessed with Rob Gardner's "Lamb of God" music for years! Imagine how big I "fan girled" when I got to meet him in person?! Apparently he wrote the new Easter Pageant script and has been very involved since it started. The director, Jenni Prince, knew what a big fan I was, so when he showed up to a rehearsal, she called me over the loudspeakers by name to come to the director's tent. It was exactly how you might picture. Me, having an actual cow.

Shopping for our "Jesus" shoes!

MEETING FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Once performances started, we had family and friends in the audience each night. We were supposed to mill around the 30 min. before showtime so we got lots of pictures!

It must be said that my mom was the biggest supporter. She came to tons of practices and many performances. That is one thing about my mom. If her kids are involved in anything, she is there to cheer you on! It meant a lot!

FIRESIDES

Since Travis came straight from work he was one of the first to the firesides and got us great seats. We had some very special guests, including the general YM president, Stephen Lund, who shared some really tender stories about his family. And then. AND THEN.... Pres. Oaks came!! Oh boy, this was cool. He is definitely a force. He was moving very slowly and gingerly, which showed his age. I hoped my kids felt the power of his presence.

BEHIND THE SCENES

Participating in the pageant was a LOT.  It was all worth it, but it was just quite exhausting packing dinner every night, loading and unloading the car, keeping track of costumes, making sure we were there at the right time, memorizing all the songs, etc. Being on the temple grounds that often was really special though. I loved seeing the glowing temple each night. 

One rehearsal was particularly freezing. It had rained and we were quite miserable. Turns out, Shelley and Casey had gone to the temple and thought of us so they went and got hot chocolate from QT and brought it to us and even brought extras for the security guards!! It was a life saver! We felt very spoiled. 

Sweet Josie, in our family group, was so sweet and played with the kids and provided lots of fun and entertainment. Collin and her had a good time getting to know each other too.

This Pharisee (can't remember his name dang it) was a hoot! We sat by him at the firesides and he was in a couple scenes near us and always had us laughing.

Got a picture with Jesus! Trevor.... dang I can't remember his last name.

ON SET

I wish I had a picture of the final.

The finale is transcendent!! Travis, Olive and I get to be on stage first with those same, few roles from the opening scene, then after we sing our parts, the rest of the cast floods in. We sing, 

"It matter not what may befall,

What threatening hand hangs over me

He is my Rampart through it all

My Refuge from mine enemy!!

Come unto Him all ye depressed,

 ye erring souls whose eyes are dim,

ye weary ones who long for rest,

Come unto Him

Come unto Him!!!!"

Then we pause as the a few peaceful notes ring out. 

We turn back toward the Savior.

We kneel.

Our arms slowly raise in praise as He rises into the sky.

 who is rising into the sky, lit up.

There are.not.words. 

It is the most POWERFUL moment and it never, ever got old. 

My eyes filled with tears every night as I sang my heart out. 

This was the most choice experience for our family.

I thought I'd include the email I sent to the directors, thanking them for this experience. 

Dear sweet directors,

I have procrastinated this email because of the weight of what I wanted to convey. Knowing my words would never be enough. Never do justice to the immense gratitude in my heart. My whole family's hearts. But I can't wait any longer. (And I apologize in advance for the length!!)

I know that this pageant was made possible by hundreds of hands. Dozens and dozens of people who worked tirelessly to make it a reality. But you were the gatekeepers for our family. You watched all those audition videos; spent the time to consider each individually. And by a true miracle, you let us in! I know that God was part of it all... and I have given him thanks continuously. I have looked heavenward with tears streaming down my face and acknowledged his hand in all of this. But you all listened. You prayed and sought His guidance and were intune with His Spirit. YOU put in the work. That was delicate work. Learning to hear and follow through. Thank you. Thank you so much for all that time you dedicated before a stage was ever erected. 

I wanted this so badly. I prayed and prayed that we would be allowed to participate in the cast. And in the same breath, I told God that if it wasn't the right timing for our family, I would accept that. I knew that whatever the outcome, He was in charge and all would be well. But OH, if it was acceptable to him, I let Him know how much I desired this for us!! When I got the email that my husband got a callback, I FLEW up our stairs, shouting as I ran, as excited as if we'd won the lottery!! Then I begged him. I knew this wasn't his "thing". But I thought if he did well at callbacks then maybe, MAYBE we'd get in!! He assured me he'd try his hardest. ;) (The irony now, is that this IS his thing! Haha! He loved it as much as anyone and is already thinking about next year!)

Then I got the call from Jenee a couple days before the Jairus family auditions and thought I had gone straight to heaven! That audition alone was one of the most transcendent experiences of our life. I knew that if we didn't get the part, that just being able to audition was a choice blessing.

I checked my email so many times over the next 6 weeks that even Google was sick of me. When I finally saw it pop up in my inbox my heart leaped! I was so nervous I couldn't open it. Our kids gathered around as I made Travis look at it for me. As he started reading the words that we had been accepted, and then, that we were Jairus's family, shouts of joy and tears of gratitude erupted! We hugged and cried and hugged some more. It was a whole scene!! A Christmas miracle! 

Now, with all that excitement and momentum and the highest of expectations set, the fact that everything EXCEEDED our expectations was absolutely unbelievable. From the very first fireside we knew we had crossed over to holy ground. We giggled when the opening song began and the room filled with such joyous, loud singing that our youngest clapped his hands over his ears! I have never heard singing like that before!! It was an indication to me that every person there WANTED to be there with all their heart and was singing praises to their Lord. I will never forget that. 

And it just continued. We walked to get our costumes and everyone was excited. It was in the air. Everyone smiled. Everyone assisted. Supported. Spoke compliments. Offered help. And carried the Spirit with them. This was how Super Saturdays went. And every single rehearsal and practice. The other members of the cast especially surrounded Olive with love and encouragement. We could hardly walk two steps without someone fist bumping her or patting her on the back. I marveled at all of it. 

This was Zion.

People gathered together with one heart and one mind. I have tears in my eyes just thinking of it. I have been a member my whole life. I have gone to EFY, BYU, participated in treks, girls camps, conferences, education week, you name it. As a youth and as an adult. And they have all been incredible. But this. This was something different. It may sound like an exaggeration, but this felt like heaven. It was tangible. 

Every time any of you directors spoke, we felt your love. Truly! We FELT it. We knew you cared deeply and your examples and guidance were key. The way that you handled yourselves and carried out your roles, was instrumental in all of this working the way it did. Thank you for showing us what Christ-like leadership looks like.

Playing the role of Jairus's wife......

I have to pause as the tears come again. How do I complete that sentence?? Here is where words really falter. Night after night, looking into my daughter's eyes and telling her that it will be OK because Jesus is coming. Hang on. 

Jesus. is. coming. 

But she can't hang on. Even though I'm clinging to her. And then my whole world collapses. And I'm sobbing. Distraught. Until a hand touches my shoulder and I turn to see Him. 

Master. 

MY Savior. My Hope and Redeemer! He came. He always comes. He's always there for us. 

Some nights, my emotions were almost more than I could bear. The Tuesday night performance I walked off the stage and couldn't even descend the stairs. Travis just held me while I cried. I tried so hard to be in the moment. To live the scene as though it were really happening to me. It was all real. Feeling the anguish of your child dying night after night became so heavy on my heart that I pleaded with God for help. And help came. It came from Dan as he gave us all a pep talk the night I needed it most! It came in an enabling power that only has one source. It came from a sweet prop assistant who bear hugged me after the scene ended. And even if the help hadn't come, I was eternally grateful to have my heart hurt for Jesus. The sacrifices weren't really sacrifices because we were so focused on who we were doing this for!

Final anecdote. Our oldest son, Collin, wasn't thrilled about doing this. He actually has a really big, fun personality but there is something about being on a stage (and especially singing) that turns him into a potato. ;) It's a real thing. I knew that I'd only be able to ask him to do this once. I was cherishing having our whole family together at rehearsals assuming that if we were able to do it next year, he wouldn't be with us. He isn't "anti-church" but he doesn't act thrilled about it either. He's usually dragging his feet to scripture study, complaining about Come Follow Me and giving us that exasperated teenager stare if we ask him any gospel related questions. Spending time with his friends is MOST important too. Being with the family is low on the priority list. Well, about half way through the month, we were alone in the kitchen prepping our Passover dinner when he asked me if I wanted to do the Easter Pageant again next year. I said that I did and he responded that he wanted to as well! I couldn't believe it. He went on, saying he was loving it. He really liked our family group and meeting the rest of the cast. He said he loved the music and was hoping he would get to meet Rob Gardner to tell him that. He said he would love to do it every year until his mission. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor! I know you don't know my child, but this was NOT him! I was so shocked. I couldn't help it... I walked over and gave him a huge hug! I thought he had just been enduring it. Putting up with it for my sake. To hear that he was loving it?! I couldn't have been more surprised and thrilled. And this was before performances even started! We noticed him start to ask us for tips and help. He could tell his facial expressions needed work on stage and he really tried to improve. Then, after the final performance.... right after it ended and we started to walk off stage... he came up behind me and wrapped me up in the biggest hug and wouldn't let go. He thanked me for having our family do the pageant and said it was the best experience. He said he had only done it because he loved me, but now he loves the pageant and Jesus and is so glad we did this. He said he has a closer relationship with God now. You guys. This is a miracle. We've seen him get teased by his friends for being in the pageant and he stands his ground and defends it. He is a changed person. WE are a changed family. When he finally let go of me, my youngest son, Tanner, wanted me to pick him up, so I carried him in my arms off stage. The second, I mean the very SECOND, we walked from on stage to backstage, Tanner cried out, " I MISS IT!!" and BURST into tears. Just sobbing and sobbing into my chest. We were all in tears as we came together in a family hug. That is a moment that time stood still for me. I will never forget it.

We have heard from so many of our family, friends and ward family how the pageant changed for them knowing someone in it. It felt more personal. Deeper. We take no credit for that, but are humbled that we were allowed to be a part of something that touched our loved ones lives. We all became better missionaries because of this. I printed flyers and we all handed them out to teachers, coworkers, friends, neighbors... even our pest control guy! It stretched our comfort zones. Being asked to speak at the reception in the visitor's center one night was extra special! We were so thrilled to have so many opportunities to share our testimonies of Christ!

I have not for one second taken for granted this blessing. But I have marveled and wondered at how little, old me... our simple family... would be offered such a grand opportunity. I would tell others that we aren't theater people or musical people (to my dismay) but we are Jesus people. Standing on that stage I could feel my testimony of Jesus emanating out. What a glorious privilege! I just felt like I needed to pinch myself because I couldn't believe this was real life. Thank you. You are the behind the scenes, unsung heros. You'll always be special to us and we hope you know that we love and treasure you and this experience you offered us. May you have the most relaxing summer and be strengthened and bolstered to be able to do it again!!

Much love and adoration,

Stephanie Evans and family