I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

 The Week "Before"
 Countdown

Well, Travis was kind, and let me go to church, while he stayed home with all the sickies. Weston had been in the clear, until Sunday morning when he woke up with a red eye. We weren't sure if it was pink eye, but decided to play it safe and keep him home. So I got to get all dolled up, knowing no children would be smearing me with boogers or the like! Kinda fun, haha! It definitely called for the red shoes. :) And I had time to try a new updo that actually worked out. I don't think I've gone to church alone since the single ward days. One of the assistants at Trav's office is investigating the church and happened to be walking up when I was, so we stuck together.

 On Tuesday, Brinn, Megan and I went to Storytime at the library, only to find out it was canceled. Bug! But Megan was prepared with a magnet board and stories, so she wins best mom points for the day! They played at the playground for a bit after that, then we took our circus to Camille's across the street for some lunch. It went pretty good, until the end. Olive had had enough. That was when Megan suggested going to the doctor in case she had an ear infection. I don't know why that never occurred to me before, so I called as we were leaving and they got us right in. And yup, she had a slight infection in both ears! Poor baby!! Double ear infection, double pink eye, fever and diarrhea. So sad!! 

On Wednesday, I had gotten going early and went in to the office to have my teeth cleaned at 8am. Travis is booked out a solid month and is always busy, so he had me go to the hygienist upstairs. I hadn't had my teeth cleaned by a hygienist, since Kathy, over 6 years ago! It felt amazing. Oh, I love freshly cleaned teeth! Collin was at school, so then Weston, Olive and I went grocery shopping. Then Megan saved me and invited Weston over to play. So I went home, unloaded the groceries and made bread. While that was baking, I mopped the kitchen floor. Then I picked up the kids at preschool and Megan let Collin stay and play! Glorious. So I went home and cleaned all the bathrooms, vacuumed, did dishes, dusted, and got some pictures uploaded to the blog. I don't think I'd been so productive in years. And without knowing it yet, this would become an even bigger blessing come Friday.

How adorable is this picture?!! I thought I had moved the loaves far enough away from her. Nope, determination gets you far. And if you could have seen her reaction when I tried taking her fistful away!! I've never seen her do anything like it! She literally FLUNG her body backward, screaming like her best friend had been ripped from her arms. I gave it back. (You can kind of see her sad, red eyes in this picture too.)

Thursday was weird. I heard a loud noise in the morning and looked out the window to see it Hailing!! Oh HAIL NO!!! I couldn't believe it. It was thick and covered everything. I had been wanting to deliver a loaf of bread to a friend that lives 20 min. away, so I waited until it sort of let up and we headed out. And I seriously think that sums up our Thursday. Oh! We had Lilly and Rubi over in the afternoon since they were going out of town that night. We painted coffee filters to make butterflies out of and I made some yummy homemade pizza. Excited to finally have a recipe I like! On days like this, I'd usually leave the disastrous house for the next day. But oddly enough, I cleaned everything. Did all the dished, picked up the living room and left everything very clean before heading to bed.

Friday morning, Travis took Collin to preschool like he usually does. I forgot he needed a flower to give to Mother Mary at school (I think for Mother's Day), so those coffee filters came in handy!! Then, I made green salsa because I was supposed to go to Collin's preschool and help out while all the teacher's were at a special luncheon. And the green salsa and chips was for the lunch. I also made 4 pans of brownies for this art show thing for the preschool.

As you can see, Weston likes licking the beaters. CUTE boy!! Oh I love these two.

Well, after that, I put Olive down for a nap and told Weston I was heading upstairs to shower. But I had noticed these dang cob webs above the entry way and decided to just finally get rid of them.  I see them every time I go down the stairs and always say I'll get them later. Well, things were going so smoothly, why not stop being lazy and just finally get rid of them?! I grabbed my little Swiffer duster and stood on the last step and reached up. But they were still out of reach. Weird, I thought I'd be able to get them easy. Sooo, keeping my eye on them, I slowly ascended the stairs, backward, keeping my eye on them. Cuz you know how tricky spider webs are... the sun hits them and they disappear! Well, I had finally reached a height that I was sure I could just jump and swipe at them and land on the ground of the entry way. Without another thought, I jumped as high as I could. (See... hindsight is 20/20. I jumped UP, instead of OUT. Smarty pants.) I had kept my eye on those wretched webs the whole time and didn't spot my landing at all. And the most embarrassing part... I hadn't even checked to see how high I had gone on the stairs. But I still fully expected to land on the ground. When my heels barely caught the edge of a step and went right out from under me, I landed with all the momentum of that jump, right on my back. I hit hard and knew instantly I had broken something. Then fell the rest of the way (one stair, two??? I have no idea) to the ground. I was in pain, but more than that I was MAD!!!!! So dang, flippin', flangin' MAD at myself!! I balled up my fists and just pounded on the ground over and over again, yelling "Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it, DANG IT!!!!" Yes, I know what you're thinking, but I didn't curse. I almost surprise myself sometimes. There were moments when I stopped my pounding to cry and cover my face with my hands, allowing a brief thought of how my life had just changed. What if I broke my back?!! I just screwed up BAD. Everything was going to change. How much will it all change? How long will this injury last? It could affect me for years. HOW COULD I HAVE JUST DONE THIS??!!!! ARGHH!!!! Then back to my pounding and crying. I had never lost consciousness, but I didn't let too much time go by, before I called to Weston. Luckily, I knew where my cell phone was. That's not always the case, but this morning I knew. I told him Mommy's phone was on the ground in her bathroom. Could he be a good boy and go get it? He quickly obeyed and came back to hand it to me. He didn't seem super concerned I was on my back in the entry way, but I told him, "Weston, Mommy just hurt her back. We need to say a prayer." He happily said, OK, then kneeled down, with his chest on top of mine and started praying. I had planned on saying it, but he went right for it without any prompting. It was the sweetest little prayer, but then he closed without a word about me, so I said, "Oh, thank you Weston, but could we ask Heavenly Father to bless Mommy's back?" He didn't miss a beat and bent down again over me to add, "And please bless Mommy's back. Name of Jesus Christ. Amen." I thanked him and he ran back to his show in the living room like all was right in the world. Little did he know. So then it was decision time. Do I call Travis? I didn't want to bother him and knew he'd be in the middle of patients for the morning. So I attempted to roll onto my right side. I was able to, but that was it. I knew I couldn't do any more, let alone get up. I resumed with my "dang its", then text him. "How busy are you right now?" And waited. It was only a few minutes before he text back, "Not slammed, why?" Ugh! That meant he was busy. I waited just slightly longer, finally accepting that I was going to have to call him. So I called. And in the time it took for those few rings to go through, all my resolve took a flying leap out the window. He answered and I was a sobbing, hysterical mess. I just remember him saying, "Stephanie! Stephanie! What's wrong? What happened??!" He basically flew out of there but it felt like forever before I heard the garage door open and he was next to me. I don't think he really knew what to do either, but at one point, he gently felt down my back to see where I hurt myself. When he touched my lower back where I was hurt, I jumped a mile. I couldn't believe the intense rush of pain that came with that light touch. When that registered in my head, I lost it another notch. That was unmistakable evidence that I was really hurt and it freaked me out. I remember sobbing and feeling myself start to give way to a full blown panic attack. I gasped, "I'm freaking out. Trav, I'm freaking out!" He went right to my face and cradled my head and made me look in his eyes while he calmly told me I would be fine. Everything was OK. Breathe deep.  Somewhere in my conscious I realized this was not unlike what happens when I reach a 10 in labor and I lose it. But he's always there. In my face. A look of calm resolve. A steady presence letting me know everything was going to be OK. I let myself believe him. And felt myself slowly come down for the escalating panic that had started to grip my chest. I told him I wanted a blessing, so he started trying to call Michael. Not able to get a hold of him, and knowing he couldn't move me, he called 911. Now panic, let way to full blown embarrassment. How did I let this happen?? This is so humiliating. And then another strange thing happened. My whole body started shaking. Bad. Uncontrollably. I knew it was shock, but thankfully I didn't feel my breathing change, so it was more annoying than anything. The 911 operator just told Travis to put a blanket on me. Then, I heard the sirens and was suddenly surrounded by paramedics. They moved me onto my side and felt down my spine. Surprisingly, no part of my spine hurt. That was a relief. And because of that, the most glorious of blessings... they didn't strap me to the back board. I've had one other experience with back boards and they are HELL. Absolute hell. So with 4 or 5 men around me, they counted down and lifted me onto the bed. Travis had gotten a hold of Micheal at some point and he came in with the rest of the men. I kept thinking I should ask if they could wait while I got a blessing but for some reason, never did. I definitely regret that. Travis stayed back to get the kids taken care of and met me down at the hospital. And even with all the chaos, I was of a sound enough mind to request my phone. Gotta take a picture. :)

Travis met me in the ER, but I told him to go be with Collin for a while. I knew Collin was expecting me and would be disappointed and wondering where I was. While he was gone, a doctor came in to ask me questions and do a physical exam. Then I waited an hour or two before the lab tech guy came in to do the CT scan. Then of course, more waiting. They gave me some pain medicine and a muscle relaxer but it didn't help. They offered an IV, but I declined. Honestly, all I could think of was, this is going to be so expensive! Gosh dang it! I hate hospital bills. I was so glad when they stopped coming after Olive. Hospital bills are the WORST. There's no debating them. You're just screwed. You have to pay everything. And it's as much as an all inclusive resort would cost. When you're in a crappy hospital room in Gallup, NM instead.

 Travis came back. I had text my family to let them know what was happening. Rachel called. My mom called. We waited and waited. At one point the nurse came in to say they were consulting a specialist in Albuquerque. After what felt like forever, the doctor came back in with the diagnosis. She said I had fractured the transverse processes of my L2 and L2 vertebrae. I could feel the tears slide down my face. She continued, "It's a 4-6 week recovery. It's a stable fracture, surrounded by lots of tendons and ligaments, but you won't be able to turn your upper body at all. No lifting over 5lbs. No bending. If you have a really small dog, you could probably hold it. But if you have a big dog, you shouldn't lift it." Stupid animal people!! Seriously, do I look like the kind of person that has a dog?! I wanted to roll my eyes, but managed a slight, depressed laugh and said, "Or my children?" 

"Oh no", she said, "no lifting or holding children. And no putting your baby on your hip." 

Peachy. What the H am I going to do now.

After she left, I let the tears come freely. I had just been told I couldn't participate in my life for a month. How is this happening to me?? 

 I couldn't grocery shop. Couldn't lift my baby out of her crib. Couldn't bend down to wipe up a spill. Couldn't clean. Couldn't vacuum. What's 5lbs exactly anyway?! A tiny, newborn baby weighs more than 5lbs! I couldn't believe it. My whole world had been turned upside down in an instant. 

Travis tried to console me. 

At least I didn't need surgery. His eyes welled up describing how he had been sitting there listening to voices in the hall talk about surgeons and surgery. And praying that it wasn't for me.

And at least it was only 4-6 weeks. Not 3 months, not permanent. 

It was true, and I was grateful. But for some reason, all I could see was the next month. The next 4-6 weeks. Not being able to be me.

Travis laughed, and chided me. "You're too much like your Dad. Your dad burned his foot, was disabled for a month and it nearly killed him." I had to laugh and agree. This might kill me.

Well, after that the nurse came in to check on my pain and since it hadn't gotten better with pills, she offered a shot of morphine. I accepted. Then they monitored me for 15 more minutes and declared me discharged. I thought it was a little strange. Oh you have a broken back, but it was nice seein' ya. Have a good day! So Travis helped me bring my legs over the bed and shakily stand up. I immediately felt dizzy and light headed, but what was there to do, but go? He grabbed my bag and held me up as we shuffled to the door. We got right outside the door when I felt nauseous and started to go for a garbage can in the hall. But not a few steps to it and I knew I was going to pass out. I've never passed out before in my life. It was the strangest feeling. Opening my eyes from darkness and dreams that I knew I had just had, but couldn't recall for all the reason in the world. And realizing voices were talking all around me, trying to lower me into a wheelchair. Travis said I had told him I was going to pass out, and then went limp in his arms. He said he was just standing there, holding me, when someone finally noticed and asked if he needed some help. Fantastic. Why didn't they offer me a wheelchair in the first place?! Why didn't I ask? Oi. So they got me back on the bed and brilliantly suggested the morphine, trauma, and lack of food probably caused me to pass out. But there was nothing to do but wait a bit and try again. I did really want to get home and into my own bed. This time, Travis wheeled me out. He stopped at the check in desk to ask if he needed to do anything else. I felt as awful as I've ever felt and asked him to wheel me next to a garbage can while he talked to the lady. I remember a doctor in scrubs came out a door and stopped to look at me. He seemed concerned and asked me if I was being checked in to the ER. I told him I had just been discharged. His eyes showed slight alarm and he went and got me a barf bag. I barely made it through the ride home. Travis probably drove 5mph and I still felt like I was going to die. I even remember using those exact words later that night. I could've sworn I was dying. The way I felt just seemed about the only way a person who was dying would feel. He nearly carried me into the house and around the corner, onto the spare room bed. There was a babysitter there, and I just imagined what she must have been thinking seeing me. I think it was around 5 or 6pm when I got home and I just have on and off memories of hearing Travis get the boys dinner and bathed and into bed. I don't know if I was dozing on and off or going in and out of consciousness. Probably the former. After the kids were in bed, he ran off to Wal-mart to get the prescriptions filled. He assumed I'd be sleeping in the bed downstairs, but I really wanted to be in my own bed upstairs. So against his wishes, he helped me up and got behind me to hold me up as we tried to get upstairs. We took each stair one at a time and went very slowly. Even then, it literally took everything I had. I was panting and breathing hard and the room had started spinning by the time we got to the top. But I still needed to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and take out my contacts. He lowered me onto the toilet (I know, we're getting graphic here, sorry) and when I stood up, I knew that was it. It was all I had. I told him I was going to pass out again. And I did. He used that as his chance to pick me up and get me onto the bed. I just laid there, feeling like I would never willingly move again. And thankfully I dropped off to sleep with no problems that night. You just never know what a day will bring! :(

(So the transverse processes are the bones that stick out from the vertebrae. And mine were in the lumbar section of spine. Again, no danger to my actual spine though, which was such a blessing.)

Saturday and Sunday passed in a Vicodin/Muscle relaxer stupor. So much for Mother's Day. My Aunt MaryAnn had emailed me this chart though and I thought it was a fun thing to post for Mother's Day. Also, the irony that my own mother was coming to rescue her 30 year old daughter the day after Mother's Day didn't escape me. Once a Mother, always a Mother, huh? I am so incredibly grateful. I don't know what we would have done without her or my sister.

Travis was a very busy man that weekend and Monday, taking care of all of us. He got up and got the kids all ready Monday morning. Dropped Collin off at preschool, then took Weston and Olive to my visiting teacher, Tania's, house. On his lunch break, he picked all three kids up and brought them home. My mom drove into town just minutes after he got here. I think he must have high fived my mom as he rushed out the door to go back to work. I imagined an inaudible but nonetheless, perceptible sigh of relief go through the house when my mom arrived. My sweet friend, Emily, brought dinner that night. The sod we had ordered weeks before, was delivered that day. So the second Travis got home, he was outside, laying it down. Collin was trusty sidekick the entire time. YAY!!! GRASS!!!!

Trav spent the rest of the evening finishing laundry and packing the kids' bags. Tuesday morning, my mom was off to Arizona with our brood! We had her take our car for ease of leaving car seats and having the DVD player handy. The plan was for our families to keep them until Memorial Day weekend, when hopefully I'd be well enough to make the trip down with Travis to pick them up. We had been planning on coming down for the holiday anyway, so his time off work was already scheduled and everything. 

I was definitely more worried for my mom than the kids. :) But with lots of prayers going with them, it sounded like it went OK. Since then, I've gotten occasional pictures and video of my sweet babies! 

They are wonderful and heart wrenching all at the same time. 

That first day that I was home alone was.... weird. Eery, even. The house made all sorts of noises and creaks that I'd never noticed before. Dogs barked constantly. It'd be enough to make me go crazy if I even noticed it on a regular basis. But more than that.. it was just plain, empty. I felt empty. Travis would come home and we'd have nothing to talk about. We'd eat in noticeable silence. The hours just dragged on. By the end of the second day, I didn't know how I was going to make it through another 9. When someone's watching your kids for two weeks, you want to be in Hawaii! Not flat on your back. Or at least working like crazy to be productive and get projects done. I'm not even sure what triggered it, but I think it was Wednesday that I broke down. Sobbing and sobbing. I wanted my life back. I wanted to wake up early to my baby crying. I wanted Travis to shake me in the morning that it was time to exercise. I wanted to feel like the house was a mess and there were a million things to do and not enough hours in the day to do them. I wanted Weston to say, "Mom?" until he had my attention, then tuck his head shyly and finish, "I love you." like he does at least once a day. I wanted Collin to ask me for a snack for the 100th time. It really took less than a day for me to realize how meaningless my life became when my family wasn't a part of it. You're always wishing for more free time. For a break. A vacation. For the whining to stop. The endless chores to finally be done. And then you get it. You get that break. You get your silence. And suddenly life comes into focus and you'd do anything to get all of those things back. It was a lesson that didn't take long for me to learn. Even Travis admitted that work lost its meaning. It didn't feel important anymore. Like, what was the point? I found myself having little pep talks in my head. It's just 2 weeks. Relax. It's not forever. Try to enjoy it. Get some blogging done. :) My friend, Lisa, sent me this quote and it helped me immensely. 

 The ironic thing? I had literally pondered that very thing multiple times in the months prior to this. I had repeatedly thought, "Hmm. Life is good. My life is really good. How am I so lucky? What are my trials right now? Living in Gallup, I guess. But that's actually not that bad... sooo what? What's going to give? How long do I get to live like this?" 

Yeah, JINXED! Don't do this, my friends. :)

But truly, having the gospel is priceless. Knowing there is a reason behind everything. Knowing that every trial has a purpose and isn't random. It is meant for us and is for our everlasting benefit. There is nothing I'd trade that knowledge for. And I recognize that this isn't just my trial. It wasn't easy for my mom to drive over and take my kids for me. It wasn't easy for Shelley to add two crazy boys to her life for a week. This has gone beyond me and I'm eternally grateful for my family stepping in to help. It's about as humbling as it gets.

The other aspect of this is that I've been overwhelmed by, is the amount of people calling, messaging, stopping by and wanting to help me. One of the counselors in the stake presidency that Travis spends a lot of time with, has called Travis EVERY DAY since my accident. Always checking on me, seeing if there is anything he can do. He doesn't even live in Gallup! A woman in my ward that I've never even spoken to before, called me up on Tuesday. She wanted to offer to drive me to Albuquerque or Phoenix even, if I had appointments there!! And she's called me several times since just to check in and see how I am. When Travis went to church last Sunday with the kids, right after sacrament meeting, one lady walked up to him to ask when she could come over to do laundry. Collin's school sent a card that the staff had all signed. Collin only goes to preschool 3x a week, but they told Travis to send him everyday at no extra charge if that would be helpful. We've had meals brought in, cookies and smoothies dropped off and offers to clean our bathrooms. One of my cousins had a baby shower the day after it happened and my mom told me all the aunts and cousins were talking about me and offering to do anything they could to help with my kids. So many have emailed or text me... past neighbors, bosses, friends.... have said they're praying for me. I can't think of another time in my life so many people have prayed for me. It's honestly made me stop and consider the effects of such a thing. I believe that prayers hold real power and can effect real change. To think that it's being done in my behalf is both humbling and overwhelming. There aren't words to express my gratitude. And to know that my kids are being taken care of by family that loves them is the most comforting. I am so so incredibly blessed. I still think of that lyric, "The bad times make the good times better."

 Well, I'll say! And in the meantime, I'm still feeling very loved and carried through this otherwise awful experience.

Sickies

Well, May started us off with a bunch of sickies! Literally... the first night of May, Collin woke up in the middle of the night throwing up. And continued to throw up the next three days, including running a fever off and on and just being completely wasted. There was no doubt he was sick, and I felt awful for him. Right about the same time, Olive started having terrible diarrhea. Hold on... you're going to want to hear about this.. it's so pleasant. :) This stuff was the worst I've seen in any of my kids. All day long, blowing out of every single diaper. Literally, EVERY time I'd get her out of her crib, the sheets would be ruined. I was doing her laundry constantly. On top of multiple baths a day and lots and lots of Vaseline and Aquafor being lathered on in abundance. All while she screamed and cried. The poor girl was hurting and not keeping quiet about it either. We had to have gone through 70 diapers that week. My hands were the worst I've ever seen them from so much washing. Completely dried out and cracking at ever joint. I could barely move them and they'd bleed constantly. I'd mix in probiotics with her food at least once a day and rub DigetZen on her tummy before bed. OH! And I completely forgot... the same time her diarrhea started, she got pink eye. Bad pink eye. And the second day, it was in the other eye too! I had some leftover eye cream from the last time she had pink eye, but it didn't do anything to help. Her eyes stayed red, swollen and goopy/crusty for a whole week. She'd just look at me with those sad eyes and my heart would drop to the floor. It was so pathetic looking. I remember the first Thursday night that it got bad, Travis was at the church of course and I just rocked her for over an hour while she layed on me, squirming in discomfort and moaning. Just crying out in pain for over an hour. It was like she was injured animal. My heart was aching for her. She also ran a fever off and on. And her symptoms were solid for an entire week!

She was sitting on my stomach when all of a sudden, her diaper and my clothes got the same treatment. I was soaked.

It just so happened that that Saturday of all the sick kids, was the day we needed to get the backyard ready for the sod we ordered. Travis was outside all day. Luckily, Olive took a really long nap and Collin just laid on the couch watching TV, so I was able to go out and help for the afternoon. I think I pulled weeds for at least 4 hours. The place was in bad shape. It was fairly comical to watch the rototiller take charge of Travis for 1/2 hour too. Ha. The poor man was sore all over the next day. That's some grade A hard dirt! He also spent hours hauling in peat, gypsum, and other soil materials to spread over everything. It a full day's work and we were all bushed. 

Travis was speaking at a baptism that night, so while he showered, I took Olive and drove to the other side of town to get these sandwiches for dinner that we really like. The days of sick kids, bleeding hands, and constant crying was weighing on me when a song came of the radio. 

"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins.

It's a nostalgic, emotional song. Full of longing and memories.

 I'd heard it before, but it really hit home this time. I hung on every word.

"You're gonna miss this,

You're gonna want this back.

You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a good look around...

You may not know it now,

But you're gonna miss this."

In one verse in talks about a repair man coming over and "one kid's crying and one kid's screaming." Haha. It made me chuckle. Oh how I can relate! How ALL mom's can relate!

But then I just started bawling. Completely losing it. 

Because I knew that song was right. 

It reminded me that I absolutely will miss this someday. I knew that, as sure as I knew I had changed 5 million diapers that week! :) And it reminded me how good my life is. It is unbelievably good. And we had still had a good day. It felt wonderful to work hard in the yard. It felt right to be together as a family. It reminded me of my own childhood memories of Saturdays. A freshly cut lawn, tuna fish sandwiches together for lunch with Ruffles dipped in sour cream, the smell of a carport just sprayed off and a clean house. Settling down to watch Star Search in the evening. And just a HAPPY feeling throughout the house. I loved my childhood. And I love my life with my children now.

And then right after that first song, another one came right after it...

"It's a Hell of a Life" by Frankie Ballard

This song is a bit more hopeful and upbeat. Makes you want to tap your foot and sway back and forth. But it also makes you reflect on what you have in your life.

And one part of the chorus says,

"The bad times make the good times better."

I think I started with a fresh new wave of sobs every time he sung that line. 

Because it's true. It's so so true. 

And there is purpose and meaning in the bad times. We need them. They absolutely make the good times better. And it's all alright. It will always be alright. It's a hell of a life. I couldn't agree more. And I'm unbelievably grateful that it's my life. Wouldn't trade it for anyone else's in the world.

Birfday Boy!!

This guy turned 31. 

It was really exciting.

 He got to go to work.

 Spend his lunch rocking sick and/or crying kids.

And a testament to his awesomeness... put one to sleep.

Weston, Olive and I got 3+ dozen donuts from Glenn's and popped in to the office to share. :) 
We had the Shaheens and Kings over that night for dessert. I made a turtle cheesecake. And whipped up some pina coladas in his brand new.... Vitamix! Wahoo! No joke, maybe our 3rd year of dental school, he came home pumped. Told me all about how amazing Vitamixes were... they could make smoothies, soup, ice cream, you name it! He had seen a demonstration at a conference. I must have raised my eyebrows in slight amusement. We were in school... in copious amounts of debt... without an income. And you're trying to talk me into a Vitamix??!! :) I know he wasn't really serious. But he seriously did want one. At some point. Patience... patience. 
It's not nearly as exciting, but he also got a pull up bar and weights to start honing those skinny arms. (I kid! I kid! But honestly, look at the pictures. He is crazy skinny! T-25 is a workin'!)

I don't know that I'll ever print an Instagram book, so I'll just copy here what I posted there.

"A shout out to my white Mexican on his 31st Cumpleanos!! He threw caution to the wind and requested Asian food for dinner. Then all his blender dreams came true when a Vitamix joined the family. (He literally came home one day after seeing a demo at a conference in dental school, begging for one. True story.) He is my favorite. My hunka hunka burnin love. The Chandler to my Monica. My forever and always! Love this man!!"

And that is also a true story. Love him more than words.

Olive's Room

 April was also the magic month that I finally finished Olive's room. She's only 8 months old. Nbd.

 Make no mistake... I wanted to BUY a mobile. A simple one. But I couldn't find what I wanted. So I finally checked Etsy. They were charging OUTRAGEOUS prices. I saw pom pom mobiles going anywhere from $65-115. What- EVER. That is ridiculous. I could do that easy.

So I bought my supplies. And started at it. 

I'm not sure how many hours were spent on this contraption, but it was easily 20+ hours more than I wanted to spend. (I'm not crafty.) All of a sudden $100 was sounding a very reasonable price to charge for one of these. I would for sure charge double if I was forced beyond my control to make another. (Which I pray will never happen.)

 Call me weird, but I'm obsessed with these sheets. Like, they are my favorite thing ever, right now.

And I have to include her blankie she loves to cuddle while she sucks her thumb and falls asleep.

 Ruffles. Yes. Yes. Yessss.

 So while I decided to save money on the mobile, I most definitely spent more than I bargained to make this "name" decoration happen. Eesh. Ah well. First daughter gets to be pampered. Next daughter will be limited to a 3 letter name, max. :)

Each of my kids has a Sub Art of their birth stats, courtesy their lovely Aunt Rachel!

 The dresser, looking rather sparse, as this picture was taken after Olive left for her 2 week hiatus from me so my back could heal.

And the finishing touch.... Noah's Ark ceiling fan. Sigh. Gotta love renting. Bah!

April

I can't believe how bad I've become at blogging! I used to get to it once a week. Now, it's once a month. So here is the grand smorgasbord of April!

I've been bad at teaching the boys to write thank you cards for gifts. So we finally got to a few for their birthday presents.

 Collin finally had his 5 year, Well Check Exam at the the doctors. No shots. Phew. I didn't know if I'd be able to hold him down if he did. 
He passed everything with flying colors, including the eye exam.
When reading the lines, he'd name appropriately... "circle, sailboat, American flag"... then when he came to the plus sign.... "the cross".
I'm almost surprised he didn't include, that Jesus died on for our sins.

It snowed. Ew.

One Friday, Trav came home for lunch, then announced he wasn't going back! Score. Fun surprise for all. So he took the boys to a movie and I tried blogging, but my awesome computer was being awesome again, so I took Missy Moo out to the tramp with me instead! I read a little and we soaked up the sun. It felt very luxurious.

Sometime when you tell the Taco Bell worker you'd like LOTS of mild, they deliver. In the way of 54 packets. For serious. Spanks, Taco Bell worker.

The first two days of Spring Break I wanted to have the boys do something for someone else. I just remember last year, feeling disenchanted with an entire week of me spending lots of time, money and effort entertaining their every whim and desire. I vowed that for all Spring Breaks in the future, we would work in some service too. 

So I got this idea from my cousin, Leah... we went to the store and got pots and flowers, then I let them paint the pots and plant the flowers. We gave one to the "bully" in Collin's class that lives a street over from us. Turns out, his parents were on the driveway with him when we walked up. So I got a chance to meet them and Collin and the boy played for a bit. We gave the other to a friend down the street.

The second day, our idea got us in pretty deep. Sounded simple... make cookies for our primary teachers at church. But see, Weston had 3 since he's in nursery. And they lived all over Timbuktu. We spent hours driving around. Bah!

Just because she is so stinin' cute!!! LOVE this girl.

Lots of days having Lilly and Rubi over, or Collin and Weston going to their house. Friends are the best. They love Leap Frog.

Girls just wanna have fun. These 4 crack me up. (And they did this all to themselves!)

Why am I so obsessed with her thumb sucking?! It's so dang cute.

I bought these gorgeous Gerbera Daisies and tried my hardest to get a cute picture of Olive with them. My photography skills are amazzzzing. If amazing means laughable. Oh well.

Look, Mom.. MUSCLES!

On Easter, Brinn asked how old Olive was. I said, "Ohhh, about 6 months." Trav looked over at me, concerned and said, "No, she's almost 8 months." I frowned, and shook my head, "No, she's only 6 months!" He contested me again, so I whipped out my fingers and started counting from August. My jaw dropped. AHHH! "Oh my gosh!!! You're right! How did that happen?!!" So I lost 2 months of my baby's life. I'm such a good Mom. 

So here she is at 8 months, having her first rice cereal. She liked it! A first for my kids.

On a different day, Weston helped me feed her her first baby food.. peas. She gobbled them up! He was thrilled.

It looks like I have an obsessive problem with her, but remember, this is over a whole month! ;)

Josie came for a visit! The boys love her. We spent lots of late nights, talking. We also had a girls night for Megan's birthday at my house while she was here. Yummy salted caramel blondies and home made ice cream. It was a fun night.

That same night, I made this amazing broccoli and beef. The colors were so pretty I had to take a picture. Find the recipe at Mel's Kitchen Cafe. It was a rather involved recipe, but the product is worth it. This is a keeper.

The last 2 days of April were Cray-zee!!

Tuesday night, I spoke at our Relief Society activity about simplifying. Holy stress. But it was good, and I learned a lot. The women were really nice and I felt good about it... after it was over of course. :)

Then, the next day, I was in charge of Pack meeting for Cubscouts. I don't usually decorate or go all out for these things, but I found a fun plan online and went with it. The theme for April was Faith and this plan used Flying as a platform. So I had white balloons, "clouds" and airplanes hanging from the ceiling, had a paper airplane making station, and had snacks and water like you'd get on a airplane. I had the boys work on a skit the week before and made these ridiculous pinwheels for props. I spent a lot of time trying to track down a pilot to come speak to the boys. Well, it all tanked. 7 boys showed up, all crazy and obnoxious. Only one parent came. The pilot text me half way through the meeting to say he couldn't make it. When it was all over, several of the boys grabbed at the balloon decoration and tore it the ground, then started stomping on it. I lost it right about then. I didn't go all berserk on them, but they knew I was done. Cubscouts are frustrating!!! Especially when their parents aren't supportive.

So right after pack meeting ended, I went into the bathroom to change and go speak to the Young Men and Young Women from both wards for their Teen Elect night about Etiquette. I had a Power Point presentation and showed a clip from Christmas Story where Ralphie's brother is eating like a piggie. :) The room was full of kids, more boys than girls, and I was NERVOUS. Didn't help that some boys started whistling and cat calling when I walked up. Seriously?! These boys. They weren't super rude after that, but they definitely had sarcastic/immature comments throughout. The girls were great though. I gotta say, I was done with boys after this night. When my presentation was over, the kids went into the gym to eat their dinner, using the etiquette we had just gone over. The leaders asked me to come up with a quiz to give them over the material they had learned. Walking out of there was a huge sigh of relief. I was so excited to sleep that night!! I had been up til 2am the night before and similar times all the week before that with Josie over. Way too late for a momma that usually calls it quits at 10pm!

*Not Pictured*
I don't know how we didn't take even ONE picture, but on the last Saturday in April- Brinn, Megan, Josie and I had a little girl's getaway in Albuquerque for Megan's birthday. It was a surprise that went wrong on so many levels, but still ended up really fun. I caught some sort of stomach bug the night before and was up ALL NIGHT with it. Even with all my usual stomach issues, I'd never felt that sick before. I barely managed to get in the car Saturday morning. Then, I had originally planned on us going to the St. James Tea Room, because Megan loved it, but go figure... you have to reserve a room wayyy in advance. Calling 3 days beforehand didn't cut it. So at least I was able to schedule some massages for us. Psych. Well, yes, I did schedule them, but in all my stomach woes, we were sitting at lunch when it suddenly popped in my head to check the time! Yup, 1/2 hour past the start time of our massages. I felt awful! I couldn't even believe I had done something soooo stupid. Bah!!! I'll be seething about that mistake for some time to come!!  So yeah, call me for all party planning endeavors, cuz I rock. Well, besides my idiocy, we did manage to squeeze in about 10 hours of shopping. (We be livin' in Gallup.) And got some good eats at California Pizza Kitchen and Chipotle. I even got to taste a little Chipotle at the end of the day. It's a little ironic that I was the sickest one of the group, hardly able to stand most of the time, but ended up spending the most $$$. Oh, lucky Trav. I found a really cute swimsuit at Dillards.... some reallyyyy cute decorations for our bedroom at Kirtland... perfect pillows for our bed at TJMaxx, along with fun kids clothes/kitchen accessories/clothes for me, etc. LOVE that TJMaxx. Bought some weights for Trav's birthday at Sports Authority. Some cute shirts and jewlery, including Mother's Day gifts, at Francescas. To die for outfits at GAP for Olive. Mmmm, I think that's it. It adds up fast. :) Sure love our husbands for wrangling the kids AND financing our little shopping spree. We couldn't yank ourselves away til way past when we thought we'd leave. Loved the conversations there and back as well. Let's just say, Brinn and her skinny dipping escapades make for some CRAZYYY stories!!! Ha! I'm so blessed with amazing friends!! It was a fun little trip and we didn't get crushed by semis driving back in SNOW and ridiculous wind. Win/Win.