Collin's Birthday

Friday the 13th, dawned bright and early with a fever for Collin. (It actually started in the middle of the night.) Poor boy!! He hasn't been sick a day this year, but of course, his first time is on his birthday. And he had been so excited for me to come eat lunch with him and bring cupcakes at snack time. I was just as bummed. His teacher was SO SWEET though and called me that morning asking if Collin was nearby and the class could wish him a happy birthday. So I put the phone on speaker and watched Collin's face light up as 20 little voices rang out with a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLLIN!!" I just love his teacher. What a sweet thing for her to do.

Sick or not, I also did my birthday duty and got him a sugar filled breakfast.

Trevor and Gretchen had come the day before for some dental work and brought Grandma Dog's presents. She really spoils them. He got a soccer game, Superman fishing pole and Hot Wheels car that spins wheelies. 

He absolutely refused medicine all day, so he dealt with a fever until Trav mixed some Tylenol into a yogurt and coaxed him into eating it around 2pm. It was funny to watch him slowly perk up, then announce he was all better! I asked him if he knew why he was feeling better. He tilted his head with a smile and said, "Dad's blessing" (He had gotten a blessing in the night). Um, ha, now I was the one squirming! I said, "Well, yes, but also Dad mixed medicine in your yogurt." He was pretty pleased he had been "tricked!" as he called it. ;)

Weston had preschool in the morning, so when Olive went down for her nap, Collin and I got some good, one on one time. He requested we have "school", since he was missing it that day. So we pulled out the whiteboard, phonogram flashcards and math workbooks and had school! It was actually really fun. He read some books to me and I decided right then, that maybe his sick day wasn't so bad after all. 

Earlier in the week I told him he could choose which dinner I made on his birthday. The problem is, he doesn't like any of my dinners. (He even apologetically told me a few weeks ago that he told Lilly I make bad dinners. I'll admit, it hurt. Made me wonder what other bad things my kids will say about me in the future that I won't hear about.) After an exasperating conversation over the fact that I would NOT be buying him dinner and he HAD to pick something I make, he settled on spaghetti with meatballs.

How about that birthday plate, huh?! I've been wanting a special birthday plate for years and finally bought one. Didn't realize it was more platter than plate. He sure thought it was cool though. Even better was the light up ice cube for his drink. We got it from Disneyland when we ate at the Blue Bayou and I decided it would be something fun to bring out on birthdays. You would have thought we dropped gold in his water.

 

 

 

 

 

 (I swear Weston was there too!)

 

 

Rachel sent him a Lego set that we found on the porch right before nighttime. There was no going to bed until that thing was finished! He hasn't stopped playing with it since.

The next day I was just praying he'd feel better so we could go ahead with our plans to go to Albuquerque. I knew if we didn't do it then, it would be a month before we had another free Saturday. Luckily, he did seem much better. With a dose of Tylenol, we picked up Lilly and headed to the big city for a day of birthday fun!

First stop: Gravity Park

As it ended up, I kept track of Olive and Travis ran around with the other 3. Olive didn't exhibit much fear and it was BUSY that day. I felt like I was trying to protect an ant from a stampede!

Dad's are the best tag players.

After that, he chose Chick Fil A for lunch. Um, I like me some chicken sandwich with my Chick Fil A sauce please. :) While they played on the toys, I hurried across the street with Olive to get some Target shopping in.

 

Then we tried to go to the zoo.... but, well, it was a ZOO. Apparently the place to be on one of the first warm Saturdays of the season. So we went to the Children's Museum instead.

 

Olive has been kinda a stinker lately... have I mentioned that? ;) It's totally typical, but she absolutely refuses to let me hold her when we walk from the car to the store or wherever we're going. She used to let me hold her hand but no longer. And she pitches the BIGGEST fit if I try to hold her or her hand. But it's kind of non-negotiable, you know?! I can't have my 18 month old running through parking lots. So, since I had Trav with me I decided to put my foot down on the issue. Usually, I just have a backward- bent, screaming toddler in my arms by the time I get to the store, but this time I turned around, called Travis to have him unlock the car and plopped her back in her car seat. It was NOT easy even getting that top buckle on her. I was calm the whole time, but just quietly talked to her, "You need to hold Mommy's hand. Or else I have to pick you up. It's not safe, Olive." And other such talk. She was NOT having any of it! And this was not a miscommunication issue. She knew exactly what I was saying. She bloody screamed for several minutes, before I'd turn around and ask, "Are you ready to go in?" She'd huff up some tears and quiet down, begrudgingly nod her head. Then I'd add, "Will you hold Mommy's hand?" Without skipping a beat, she'd snap a viscious, "NO!" and go back to screaming. I'd sigh, turn around and wait a few more minutes before trying again. I think it was the 4th time she finally nodded and then happily let me hold her hand as we walked into the museum. That. girl. I have a feeling it will be power struggles until we hand her off to her husband.

 

It's hard learning you don't own the world. 

The museum was crowded, but they had fun! This time, Trav kept watch on Olive and Weston and I took the older two. I think they spent at least 11 seconds at every one of the 200+ activities. I was so exhausted I thought I might fall over standing up. When I got back to Trav he said Olive and Weston basically stayed at the same 2 exhibits the entire time. Bahhh!! I picked the wrong kids for sure! ;)

We had prepped him that even though this was a fun birthday day for him, we still needed to run errands. Sam's Club being a big one. But they got pizza for dinner and I got their amazing cinnamon, butter pretzel. So it was a win, win. Turns out, it's only the Albuquerque Sam's that makes these so amazing. In Mesa, it's just a regular ol' pretzel. I mmm and ahhh with every squishy, delicious bite.

Impromptu hugging session??

We dropped Lilly off around 8pm. It was a long day, but I'll still take that over planning a birthday party, anytime! Good choice, Mr. Collin!! 

On Monday, I got a babysitter and some McDonald's and had lunch with my main squeeze. I think the whole class felt like it was their birthday. Everyone was SO excited I was there. I went out to the playground with him afterward and you would have thought I was covered in sugar for how closely the mass of children stuck to me. I was starting to get claustrophobia after a while. Not a moment went by that I didn't have 40 kids surrounding me, touching me, grabbing at my hands, calling out to me, asking me to play with them, etc, etc. I just want to play with my kid for heaven's sakes!! You'd think they'd never seen a grown up before! Despite all of that, I still did love getting to spend that time with him. 

 

Ohhh, I love this boy!! Seriously, he is the cutest. I just want to freeze time. I'm starting to panic, realizing that time just keeps getting faster and he's just going to keep getting older and eventually not want much to do with me. I love that he still draws me pictures, wants to snuggle in the morning and thinks I'm fun to have around. I just melt from his big, brown eyes and smattering of freckles across his face. I love his coloring and crooked smile. I'll be the first to admit that he's driven me up the wall, but I wouldn't trade him in a millisecond. And I just hope he forgives me or forgets all the times I lost my patience with him. I think God chooses someone extra special to be the first born (no reflection on me intended, haha). But I just know he was meant to come to our family first for a reason. I hope you will always know how fiercely I love you, Collin!!! You are determined and thoughtful. You try to do things to make others happy. You are smart and so loving.  You are inquisitive and think things through. The phrase, "If there's a will, there's a way!" definitely applies to you. I'm so grateful you're in our family!

He has noticed me writing in my journal in the morning and started asking for his own journal. Sooo, he got first, very own journal for his birthday. He was SO excited to be able to wake up and come downstairs so we could write in our journals together. My little protege. Melts my documenting heart. He even stores it next to mine. 

This was his first entry. 

He still digs on the Superhero scene. This includes Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers. He is super diligent at doing his homework. I never have to ask him or remind him. He's got his folder out before I've even said hello to him. He is a great helper with Olive and loves to play with her. He loves his footsie pajamas and has always worn holes in the feet before the end of winter. He's a pants and socks and shoes kind of kid. I usually have to hide his pants during the summer to force him to wear shorts. His favorite friend in the world is Lilly. He will always choose pizza if he has his choice. He has a million questions. Like, literally. After picking him up from school, I won't have gone one mile before he's rattled off a dozen questions, back to back. He just thinks about things and needs to know WHY! ;) I think he has a little bit of anxiety working in his brain. Just tonight, prompted by an article I read, I asked him if he feels safe at school. I was disappointed when he thoughtfully, but rather quickly said, "no." I asked him why, and he simply stated that he only feels safe when he's with me. I suppose I can relate to that. Thankfully, after further questioning, I'm pretty certain he really does feel safe, or at least is safe at school. Sometimes with his determination and argumentative nature to get what he wants, I just try to remind myself that these qualities can serve him well in the future if used for good! He really is a sweet boy with a tender heart though. We love our Tollin Towaga. ;)

February

Little Miss Thang is shaping up to be very similar to Collin in her eating habits. As in, a stinker. She is getter pretty picky and hates her highchair. So she sits in a booster now at the table. She'd really just prefer our laps though.

Finally using my Cricut! It comes with this preprogrammed Thank You Card you can make so with very little effort you have a finished product. It's true. I felt very accomplished. ;)

Collin's class had been working on this song about Martin Luther King Jr. and memorized part of his speech. They invited all the parents to come in on the Friday before Valentine's to perform it and have a pizza lunch. He was so cute singing, even though he wouldn't look at me videotaping or smile. Weston was in 7th heaven, eating lunch with his big brother and friends. 

The Sunday after Valentines, Travis and I were asked to speak at a youth fireside. It literally was a FIREside in someone's backyard, next to a fire. We were supposed to speak on not letting your testimony burn out. I was actually excited to speak, up until I started talking. Then it was just nice to have it over with! Subsequently, I got called to Young Womens. But until they find another Cubmaster, I'm doing both. Because we all have time for that. 

The middle of my February crashed and burned. Much like my nachos one day. I had put the chips in the oven on broil to warm them up and I swear 2 min. later there was a roaring fire in my oven. I tried blowing it out a couple times and that was stupid. It just roared bigger! I honestly panicked for half a second, thinking, "Where is the fire extinguisher?!", then saw my glass of water on the counter and just tossed that on the flames.

 

Pulling the charred mess out, I couldn't help but think, yeah that fits.

 

My back went out for a couple of weeks. To the point that I literally spent days on the couch. So annoying! I was determined to go to the store one day and took a Soma, thinking that might help. I dropped Weston off at the office because Trav had a patient cancel. I probably shouldn't have been driving. I was so looped out. And I was in so much pain when I got home, I couldn't even take the groceries out of the car. I've never taken medication for my back before but it's also never hurt this badly! I taught a whole week of school once, at a 90 degree angle. Not ideal, but I could do it. Now, I'm a hunchback, but in too much pain to even walk around. It is SOOOO frustrating not being physically able to do the things you're used to doing. It's like I had to do mental exercises to just calm myself down that my to-do list was staring me in the face all week, with nothing getting crossed off. After several days of pain, I cried myself to sleep, not seeing any end in sight. We went to Grants the next day for the all day, stake trek activity, building handcarts. I was no help at all. Pres. Hine suggested giving me a blessing. So he and Travis gave me one in a classroom. He counseled me afterward to have faith in immediate healing. I think I needed to hear that. And it's true, I started to feel better after that.

I wasn't totally out of the woods though, so that Monday, I saw a chiropractor. Wow... I LOVED him. So competent and knowledgeable. But even he admitted, he didn't have any magic up his sleeve, and my pain would be a long process. I spent the next week, being able to do a little more, but not really. And still in a lot of pain. Add 4 extra days off of school due to holidays, snow, etc. which meant Collin was home, causing problems and making Weston cry. I felt like all I heard was fighting. Plus, Olive was a BEAR. She has just been hard the past few months, but those couple of weeks she was ridiculous. Always crying. Always wanting to be held. Not sleeping well. I was beyond exasperation. There are not words for how difficult she's been. I think I hit the lowest low I've had since having kids. Maybe since ever. On one particular day that school was canceled from snow, I was done. DONE. Couldn't do it one more second. I felt broken. I literally crawled up the stairs and hid in the hall closet crying. I didn't know what I was going to do. I felt so worn down and now I was to the point that I couldn't even survive. I know that sounds dramatic. But it wasn't even just from those two weeks. It was like those two weeks were just the straw that broke the camel's back. From months and years of fighting kids. Someone always needing something. And not just the kids. Everyone! The day in and day out of being a Mom. It's pathetic, I know. It's not like I've been a Mom that long. Or I have a particularly hard life. Actually, I have the opposite! I have a wonderful life. The best husband. The gospel. A loving family. I guess it doesn't make sense. Or I'm just weak. That was the thought that made me the most sad. Realizing that maybe I'm just weak. But whatever it was, I just felt like I couldn't do it one more second. Then I got a call from Travis that he was on his way home. His patients had all canceled that morning because of the snow and he was coming home to rescue me. I just started bawling. I knew immediately, and without a doubt, that Heavenly Father was sending me a tender mercy. Makes me cry just thinking about it again. I don't know what I would have done without him that day. Actually, it scares me to think what could have been. Then, I was in charge of the Blue and Gold Banquet that night. I don't even know how pulled myself together and did that.

 

Poor boys. They must have accidentally taken this picture one of those days that I was miserable on the couch and they spent their day playing on my phone.

Another accidental picture the boys or Olive must have taken. It kind of makes me laugh though because it's not a scene anyone would want to take a picture of, but I'm glad I have it. Just me on the couch and Trav probably asking what he can do for me. Very illustrative of our week. I felt so guilty the whole time because the poor man did EVERYTHING. He'd pick up dinner, bathe the kids, put them to bed, clean the kitchen, pick up the house, fold the laundry, and on and on. While I laid there feeling like the biggest parasite ever. And he never acted like it was any burden or problem at all. He was so sweet to me and took care of all of us. I tell you what, it sure makes you grateful for your health and being able to do all those little things that you previously took for granted. Or even resented doing. A working back is a precious commodity! 

 Some pictures of Blue and Gold...

I bought flowers for the den leaders. They really are amazing women and do SO much for the scouts. They surprised me and gave me a gift as well. But their's was way more generous than mine! Made me feel guilty. I had no idea they were going to do that. They said some nice things about me in the program that felt really good. I'm lucky to have had this calling.



 I decided to buy some actual centerpieces for the tables so that they'll have them for future years. It was just homemade, faded paper stuff before.

 

 We presented the Pinewood Derby awards that night. I made a "Flat Tire" cake for the boy whose car lost every race. It looked more like a sombrero.

 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners!

 Each den performed a skit.

 Getting all the other awards ready and presented was stressful, but at least I didn't have to do an Arrow of Light Ceremony! That gave me an ulcer last year.

Here's Emily, Ida, me and Colleen. I appreciate these women so much!

 

This was a much needed laugh.

 Oh, how I love Grandmother!

 

Why does he love to sleep with a hat on?! Funny boy.

Both boys were spotlighted in Primary this month. Weston hasn't stopped talking about his future mission to the mountains. ;)

 

 I don't usually cook on Friday or Saturday nights. So last Friday, I suggested we go get Zen's sushi for take out. We put on a show for the boys and bribed Olive with a sucker to stay in the living room so we could eat in peace. As we got our food all set up, it made me laugh. Like an impromptu date in the dining room. It reminded me of being little and being put to bed early so my parents could have their "date night". We'd smell Chinese food and hear a movie and knew fun was being had without us. I remember sneaking out of our rooms to spy on them. You don't even realize it as a child, but there is a safety in knowing your parents are happy and in love. I hope my kids feel that way about us.

 

The next morning, we woke up to snow. And I mean SNOW! It was a winter wonderland outside. All I could do was praise the heavens it was Saturday and not a school day!!! I made pancakes for breakfast.. cuz you have to have warm, comfort food on a day like this... then we went outside to play! The Shaheens, and later the Jennings met us at Ford Canyon to do some sledding.

And snowball throwing....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though I hate snow. (And I mean HATE snow), I think this is exactly what I needed. A fun day out, laughing and playing with my family. I think my kids needed it too.

 The Dads started rolling some monster snowballs and forming them into an igloo.

 

Trav's bum sticking out makes me giggle (he was the support while they put the roof on), but I think Bron's onsie steals the show, haha!

 

 

 I love this one! If it wasn't for that stylish Flipee that Weston is wearing, I'd call it a model shot. ;)

 

 

 

We are one, snow glove short for Olive. So she got mittens with a plastic bag duct taping it to her sleeve. Worked like a charm!

 

 Megan brought hot chocolate for everyone, because she's Megan. :) Yum! Afterward, we went out and got Big Hero 6 and Bron brought the girls to our house for a movie and popcorn. (Well, the dads and kids enjoyed it... I blogged. :) Shaped up to be a pretty great Saturday.

That evening we got a babysitter so we could go see Living Legends perform at Gallup High School. It was mostly a dance performance with a little singing of Latin, Polynesian and Native American dances. It reminded me of what you'd see at the Polynesian Cultural Center. It was really good, but you wouldn't expect much else coming from BYU! We offered to host some of the performers that night, so we had two of the boys stay with us. I got a ride back home with our neighbor, but Travis had to stay until 11pm before they were done taking down their sets and were able to leave. When they got to our house, Travis asked if they were hungry and they sheepishly admitted they were. 6 quesadillas later they were filled! It honestly made me happy that they ate so much! You'd definitely work up an appetite with all that dancing and jumping around they did!

 

And the next day was the BIG day! Olive is officially 18 months old and can go to nursery!! She was a little clingy to me at first, but I stayed about 10 min. and then a leader got her occupied with play doh and I was able to leave. They said she did great and didn't cry at all! Yay! Hope it lasts! I felt like I was on a date, being able to sit next to Travis in Sunday School and hold hands.

Freeeeeeedom!!

 

 I hope she never grows out of this smile! Hehehe! It's my absolute favorite.

I feel like lately, I've been focused on how hard she's been. But I really do love my little girl! She's at a hard age and she's very stubborn and wants to do everything HER way, but she's also a love. She regularly will come up and snuggle me. Never for very long, but it's sweet. She will not say Dada. She only says Mama! Poor Trav. She knows full well what she's doing too. Such a tease. She says a few words. Bye bye. Hello (but it sounds like Hewoe!) I love you.. sounds like wuv-oo. Ball. And she'll repeat a lot of simple words like apple, dog, cat, but they are pretty rough ;) She does NOT want to be held as we walk into a store and has started refusing to hold my hand too. Independent, I tell you! She loves books, sitting in my lap for bites of Maltomeal, trying on shoes (especially Rubi's), saying "uh uh uh uh" (like 5000x a day) when she wants something, and grabbing her crotch and saying "poooo" when she needs a diaper change. She is actually VERY friendly and will let herself be held by just about anyone. In fact, at one particular Round Table meeting, there was a strange man sitting behind me, and she wiggled out of my lap and I turned around and she had sidled up to him and laid her head on his knee, while sucking her thumb. I about died! Boundaries, Olive! She's growing up so fast! I love our few minutes together before bed, rocking and singing Rock-a-bye Baby and I'm a Child of God. Even though she's feisty, she has a tender heart and is concerned when others are sad. We all love this girl!