Olive's First 3 Months

 I specifically remember when my sister's baby girl was 5 weeks old. I was completely miffed that she hadn't done any blogging about her, since her birth. I remember thinking, "Seriously?! You haven't had one night to update your blog about your baby, that I so desperately want to see pictures of?!! How is that even possible?" 

Well, folks, I'm here to hang my head in hypocritical shame.

I mailed Olive's birth announcements out last week. She's 3 months old. No big deal.

I never thought I could get this far behind in blogging. But let me share with you the adjective that has described my life these past 3 months.

Drowning.

Which is embarrassing for me to admit. For every moment I have struggled, my follow up thoughts fall along these lines. "What's wrong with me? No one else acts this frazzled with 3 kids. Why am I having such a hard time?" And so on and so forth.

There have been MANY times that all I wanted to do, midst tears and despair, is get on my blog and pour out my heart about all my struggles. Writing usually helps me feel better. But even in those moments, I usually didn't do much more than cry. There just wasn't time to blog. All I could do was cry. 

I know I sound so dramatic. 

Often, I'll hear the question, "Which was harder... 1 kid, 2 kids, or 3 kids?" Welllll, the thing is, our first kid was Collin. Hard from day one. Then you add Weston, very mild and easy going... but you still have Collin. :) Then add a third kid.... and remember you still have Collin. Haha. I love my Collin. He is just ENERGY! And questions. And non stop, all.day.long. You know the phrase, "If I had a dollar for ever time.... fill in the blank". Well, if I had a dollar for every time someone commented to me on Collin's energy, we'd be out of debt. 
Soooo, anyways, I don't really know the answer to that question. For me, it's all been very hard. Rewarding, yes. But difficult. 

Sparingly, I'll throw myself a bone. "You have 3 kids, ages 4 and under. Give yourself a friggin' break." 

But still, I'm not some huge anomaly. Lots of girls have 3 kids in 4 years. And seem to deal just fine.

Me? Well, I lose my patience. Yell. And cry. Ha! I'm such a case. Don't call CPS on me. 

I think I just want to hold myself to such a high standard. I want my house to be clean, laundry done, and yummy homecooked dinner on the table every day. Kids played with and read to. Blog kept updated. Visiting teaching done. Church calling fulfilled. Exercise completed. Errands run. Friends caught up with. My books read. Along with the myriad of other things on my daily "to do" list. As it is, it seems a successful day if I've showered. I walk around my house all day long, adding to my mental "to do" list. It never gets done. I just can't keep up. And it's really frustrating for someone that feels peace and satisfaction after crossing something off "the list".

My life quite literally revolves around eating and pooping. I run around making meals, getting snacks, feeding the baby, changing a diaper, going to the bathroom myself, changing another diaper, feeding the baby again, etc. At the end of one day, I about had a meltdown because Travis spent 20 min. in the bathroom (sorry for divulging that, Trav!) and I had but managed to run to the bathroom once that day to pee, and it was while Collin had a hysterical meltdown in front of me about some ridiculous infraction committed against him. Not a moment's peace I tell ya!!

The worst is when all 3 are crying at once. Am I right?! :) My patience just flies out the door. Or when all 3 need something at the same time. Which is constantly. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at Collin and exclaimed, "You're the oldest! Stop crying! I can't have all of you crying at the same time!! I need you to act like the big brother right now, please!" Poor, eldest child.

The issue really is, Olive cries A LOT. She's basically another baby Collin. The first 2 months, she had 3 states of being. Sleeping. Eating. Or crying. Seriously, that was the situation. And she's got a good scream on her too. You know the saying, "Screaming til you're blue in the face"? Ya, she's got that one down just fine. I can't figure her out. We've tried bottles, 3 different kinds of pacifiers, swaddling, colic drops, swings, etc. You name it, I feel like we've tried it. I remember the first time she was awake and not crying for longer than 5 minutes. It was shocking. I was sitting on my bed with her and I suddenly realized that she seemed happy. OK, maybe that's taking it too far. But at least she wasn't mad. She was calm and staring back at me and I could have cried. (One of us will always be crying!) I just said prayer after prayer of gratitude for that moment. It was like a break in the clouds or a glimmer of hope that things could get better. And they really did after that. This past month, she has gotten much better. She still cries a lot, but she also gives us smiles and has fairly content moments too. And at least she'll sleep. Collin never napped, but she'll sleep during the day. That might have been my saving grace. Just wish I could snag a nap here and there too! It's just all been a big adjustment for me.

So this has become such a downer post, which was not my intention when I started writing! I've basically just summarized all of my hard moments at once. I know it will get better. That is one thing that two other kids has taught me. With time, it gets easier. The bottom line really is that I love this little doll to pieces. I already can't imagine our family, or my life, without her. She's got these cheeks that are just the most soft, kissable cheeks on the planet! I love giving her baths and watching her look around and enjoy the water. My favorite is when we make eye contact and her eyes light up and she grins at me like we've known each other forever. I love when she pokes her little tongue out like she's tasting the air. It's so fun dressing her up like she's my little dolly. And there's nothing better than snarfing into her neck goodness. Mmmm! Just looking back on these pictures makes me smile. I could have organized them better, but I kept them strictly chronological. 

She looks so squished in these first, truly newborn, pictures. 

 With her mitts on since she's still in the "scratch your face off" stage. 

 Bahaha! This cross eyed look makes me laugh and freaks me out at the same time!

  Poor Missy Moo lives in the purple nightmare. I ordered this car seat cover to hide the boy pattern, but it did not look this bad in the pictures! It's like lavender threw up in here. 

Baby yawns are the best! Now just imagine her little arms popping up to stretch, next. 

The hair situation is just that.... a situation. The front half had the bald man look going on, while the back was a bit longer. Then, "Baby Mullet" happened. You know, where they rub a bald spot right on the back and the lowest patch gets all thick and long. Yuck! That's when I took the clippers to all of it. No daughter of mine is going to look like a weed wacker got to her! Well, that's when she sported the Demi Moore look for a few weeks. Hopefully, from here on out it gets better!

Someone loves her daddy. He has spent many an hour rocking her in this chair, trying to soothe her crying.

 These leggings from Aunt Shelley are my favorite! Bring on the 80's! I love dressing girls.

We should nickname her monkey, because she has thick hair on her ears. I can't get a clear picture of it, but  it's still there. I thought it would fall out after the first month. Nope. She's proving she's all mammal I guess.

Weston might be her biggest fan. The boys adore her and can hardly be in the same room with her without mauling her. She doesn't take it too well. Poor boys. When she's crying, I'm telling them to leave her alone because she's upset. And when she's happy I'm telling them to leave her alone so she won't start crying! If you just look at her wrong, she'll start screaming. They can't catch a break. Doesn't stop them from trying to make her their best friend.

My fan club. I have to hand it to kids. They are awfully forgiving. 

Notice who's hand is on Olive. They just can't NOT touch her.

 A pencil skirt for babies! What will they think of next?! Thanks, Aunt Marcie!

This kid will get some serious stink neck. Those rolls tell the story. 

She fell asleep with her chin in the air, silly girl. 

They've already got a connection, these two!

This dress is one of my old dresses. Sunday's are my favorite!

The baby sling might be my new ally with her. She always wants to be held, so this solves that problem sometimes.

 She got to join Collin's club and fly in an airplane at 2 months! She did really great too.

 This picture was the first time I thought she looked a lot like her cousin, Lindi. 

 Oh, that Weston!

Such a cute head wrap from Aunt Shelley. She reminds me of a 50's housewife with it on. Time to scrub those floors!

 And just like EVERY headband I put on this girl, it's around her neck in minutes. 

 Oh, I die! These chubby cheeks!!! I just want to snarf on them all day long. Mmm Mmm! 

Her smile melts my heart. 

 Grandma Sharon pulled out the ritz on this outfit! I'll agree with one thing, she certainly is juicy!