An Inconvenient Post

(mostly because it's the LONGEST one ever, sorry)

You know those days when you just feel like everything is going your way? Today has been one of those days. Actually, make that the whole week. It's not like anything remarkable has happened, I just consider myself incredibly lucky to be able to spend my days with my cutie pie and then get to see my other cutie pie at the end of the day. I love pushing Collin in the stroller around the peaceful neighborhood in the beautiful weather. I love nap time when I get to exercise. I love being able to clean, read, blog, grocery shop, and cook dinner. I'm so grateful that Travis works so hard at school and at studying so that he can do well and someday provide a living for us. Everyone is healthy. Everyone is happy. Everything is just goin' my way! :) (knock on wood, right?)

I was feeling especially blessed, while walking around BJ's this afternoon. I think a large portion of that was due to the fact that I had been craving a really cheesy pizza this morning and lo and behold, BJ's had the cheesiest of pizzas waiting for me as I checked out. I swear I heard angelic music and saw a glow encircling the pizza booth. I don't normally eat the pepperoni's (not worth the calories-that's the constant debate I have with food- is it worth the calories?!) But today I was feeling indulgent. It was divine. Collin preferred his napkin. That's his latest fettish. Paper. Could be a paper towel, receipt, or an actual sheet of paper. Since he doesn't have teeth, I let him gum on it until it gets soggy. I've only had to go down his throat with my fingers once. Oops. Gotta watch those kids, they're fast!

And maybe you've noticed what I purchased at BJ's on the table and in the cart. The next two editions in what is quickly becoming my "Glenn Beck" collection. I bought his newest "Arguing with Idiots" and "Common Sense". I tried to request Common Sense from the library, but even though it's #1 on NY Times Bestseller list, the NY Erie County library has but one copy. Count it. ONE. They have mulitple copies of the most obscure titles ever written, but when it comes to a conservatively written scrutiny of big government, just one. When I found out I was at the bottom of a list of 41 people, I decided NOT to wait 3 1/2 years, and just buy the thing myself. Darn liberal New York. I'm feeling the butterflies from the beginning of my post start to fly away :)

And now for my lengthy review of his book I just finished, An Inconvenient Book. It's quite thick, and I thought it would take me at least a couple weeks to get through, but no, I couldn't put it down. Three days later and I'm itchin' for more. 1- because it was hilarious 2- because I felt I was actually learning something and 3- did I mention it was hilarious? It consists of 21 individual chapters covering everything from minimum wage, to online dating. There were the serious topics and then the completely trivial, written to make you laugh topics. I felt like I finally learned a few things about global warming, radical Islam (can you say scary!) and our oil dependence (boy do I have a truck load of questions for my dad!). One chapter title made me laugh out loud- "The Income Gap: The Rich Get Richer, Good for Them". Haha. Sorry, but I thought that was funny.

There was one chapter I just couldn't read though. Child Molesters: A Fiery Solution. He started reviewing a certain molester who became a killer, John Evander Couey. I had never heard of him before. I wish I could go back in time to when I didn't know him. Reading about what he did made me physically ill. I had to put the book down. All I could think was, please let the Second Coming come now! Despicable, reprehensible don't even come close to describing his atrocities. After finishing the book, I did go back and read what Glenn's "solution" was. Molest a child, go to prison for LIFE. I agree. It makes me think of Jaycee Dugard. The sicko who kidnapped her wasn't a first time offender. He should have been in jail. Should have.

There was also a chapter on body image. Not exactly one of his "serious politcal" topics, but important nonetheless. It was the only chapter where I actually underlined something. "Yes, the magazines, the ads, the plastic surgery- it's all part of the problem, but each time you try to squeeze your fat fanny into a pair of size four True Religion jeans, your daughters learn to pray at the same altar." It struck a chord with me. Maybe that's because I have the most unmaterialistic mom in the world and I've been far from living up to her example.

Still reading? Then you must be either Travis, Jenni, my mother-in-law, or my mom :) I don't even think Shelley or Leah (just because I'm talking about a book) would have kept with this monster post! I just have so much to say!!!

Next up- "You Can't Say That! The Politics of Correctness". Maybe I loved this chapter because as a teacher I felt like being PC was my arch enemy. For example, no more saying, "Please sit Indian style". No, no, it's now, "Sit criss cross applesauce!" :):):) Ugh. It kills me having to tip toe around ethnic phrases. Should we say "African Americans" or "black". I saw a woman on the news spouting off that she wasn't an "African American" she was just "American". Okaaaaaaay. Whatever. I was teaching social studies and the book referenced "black" people. A white girl raised her hand and asked with horror on her face, "Why did the book call them black?" I happened to have a couple of black students in my class, so I asked one boy, "is that offensive to you?" With confusion on his face, he shook his head. Being PC is the reason Christmas trees got yanked out of some school's front offices and why I had to ask fellow teachers if they thought it would ok for me to put a witch decoration in my classroom during Halloween. I was advised to stick with pumkins. No faces on them though. It's also much more PC to use muti colored pens when grading instead of the evil "red" pen. Because if a child got a paper back with red all over it, it would be too hard on him. Sorry, but really, why all the hoops?! If you know me, I really never want to offend someone. I never want to make someone feel bad about themself, but maybe that's why we should all take a lesson in choosing to not be offended. I know, I know, the pot calling the kettle black. But hey, I'll make it my goal if you make it yours! Despite my personal exasperation, Beck proposes political correctness to be the demise of Western culture. "Proponents of PC defend it under the guise of diversity. It's an effective argument, because no one wants to be called a racist or perceived as intolerant; we all want to be "inclusive." But in my experience, "diversity" does more to exclude diverse opinions that anythingn else."

Chapter 13- Gratuities: I've Reached My TIPPING Point. I SO AGREE with this chapter. Again, maybe it's because of the whole teachers don't get tipped thing (unless you count those adorable, but useless, painted coffee mugs you get at Christmas). He makes such a good point though. You go to a restaurant, let's use Olive Garden as an example, and and pay at least 5x the cost for your chicken alfredo. And then, since the restaurant only pays their waiters a couple bucks an hour, YOU are required to pay a generous tip (regardless of how good your service was), effectually paying Olive Garden's employees on top of the food you just consumed. WHERE IS THE LOGIC?? That aside, tips should be given BASED on how well your service was, but if you got crappy service and consequently left a 10% tip, YOU'RE suddenly the bad guy. Enter guilt. It seems that expecting a tip is the norm and the minute you start expecting a tip, you stop trying to earn it. Oh man, I could go on. But really, I'm not bitter. Can ya tell?!

And lastly, probably my favorite chapter- "Parenting: The Case for Abstinence". I giggled through this entire part! He basically facetiously suggests that in order to have children, you should have to be interviewed and given a "permit" of sorts. You have to do that to drive a car or own a gun, so why not for the most important decision of all? Why? Because...." Bad parents and the dysfunctional kids they raise are everyone's problem, especially when they become serial killers, nitwit socialites (think Paris Hilton), or the watier who never brings lemon for my Coke Zero even though I've asked 12 times." Then my favorite part (I know it's long, but it's worth reading). He proposes that the Department of Parenting would actually give you a taste of parenting before you even conceive the baby. Here's how it works. "A DOP agent would come by, wake you up at 2 in the morning and keep you awake until 4. Then he'd let you sleep for an hour before waking you again and keeping you up until it's too late to go back to sleep. Then he'd yell all morning, take a nap, and -just as you were starting to doze off- he'd wake you up, start shrieking again, and not tell you why." BAHAHAHAHA! I died laughing. Maybe since it wasn't so long ago that I lived that. Also, just picturing a grown man coming to your house and doing that is just hilarious to me. Then he suggests some questions for the interview. "How much time can you devote to raising your child? Do you chew with your mouth open? Do you plan on giving your child a stupid name? Will you let your child roam the restaurant or insist he or she stay seated? Why is the sky blue?Why? Why? Why?"

Ok, I think I'm done. Quite possibly the longest post ever, but hopefully you thought worth your time. Beck is brash, outspoken and even rude, but I honestly think he makes a lot of sense. However if you are liberal or anti-capitalism, might not be the book for you! :) Now, I need to go capture those butterfly feelings I was talking about earlier :)