Allow me to explain.
It's a quiet Sunday evening. Trav has three upcoming tests and left to go study at Doug's house. I settled down into my cozy couch with a chocolate shake and watched Pride and Prejudice. (The newest one that's two hours. Excellent by the way) Movie ends, I make my hubby's lunch, then head to the office to check my email and the blog before heading to bed. Then something catches my eye. It's on the ceiling. It's dark and appears to be a bug. Upon closer examination, it's a CENTIPEDE!!! Major shudder courses through my body. I thought I had avoided these monsters all summer! I personally sprayed the whole house in May and have since only seen two DEAD ones. And then this little bugger comes along.
Most people know, I'm a bug-a-phob. I don't say this lightly. It's a serious disorder. I put Hitler, rapists, and bugs all in the same category. They are all just as dangerous to me. Seriously.
So of course I've been tormented my whole life because of it. Anytime someone finds a cockroach, spider, what have you- it's gets picked up and thrown at ME! I never found it amusing. Scratch amusing. It makes me so MAD! I mean it's not FAIR! I can't just pick up someone else's worse nightmare and throw it back at THEM!
I have a few personal anecdotes if you will indulge me. Poor Trav is going to hate that I'm sharing this story but it just always comes to mind. We were at a mutual activity (I believe), hanging out by the pool, when Travis finds a cricket. Who do you think he throws it at? I scream. Insect lands in my mouth. After much shrieking, sputtering, and trying to wash my mouth out with pool water, I have never forgotten. I don't fault Travis because I think we were like thirteen. And honestly, what teenage boy wouldn't torment an easily hysterical teenage girl? The fact is, to this day when he kills a bug at our house, I'm always a bit skittish that he's going to toss it my way. He's always very offended by this, but my gosh, OLD HABITS DIE HARD. I'm talking about my wariness habit, not his habit of harrassing girls with bugs.
Next story (this post has the potential of being VERY LONG). I'm doing an internship at an elementary school in a first grade classroom. It was only my second time being there when the kids discovered a dead cockroach under a table. The teacher selected one of the eager boys to pick it up and throw it away. I'm watching from a distance seriously thinking to myself, "How, nice, this kid doesn't know A THING about me! I don't have to be scared of him throwing it at me". Oh, I was so wrong. I didn't even finish my thought, when I saw the light bulb in his mischievous head go on. He turned to me, with carcass in hand, and started to chase me with it!! I instinctively screamed (yes I screamed), and turned to run. The kid busted into laughter as the teacher looked at me quizzically. I was SO embarrassed. (little twirp) But might I ask.... How did he know???!!!
So, back to tonight. I see evil centipede. I call Trav. He gives me a variety of ways to kill it. I'm secretly wishing he'll just drop everything he's doing and come home and kill it for me. I tell him I can do it and hang up. I proceed to hyperventilate for several minutes before calling him back. I CAN'T DO IT!! He gives me a big pep talk and I hang up. People, I spent 20 minutes staring at that darn thing, trying to muster up the courage to JUST KILL IT! I fidgeted, made high pitched squeaking noises, had to control my breathing..... I almost sprayed our Home Defense poison on it, but knew that would just leave dripping chemicals on our ceiling. FINALLY, I got the sponge mop and just smeared the nasty thing. May I repeat, I AM AWESOME!! I haven't been that proud of myself in a long time. That stupid thing was my Everest. I would have sooner gotten an epideral (also a scary thing to me) and pushed out another baby before doing that again. Think I'm being melodramtic? I'm truly not. I told you it was a serious disorder. I called Trav back to tell him about my trimuph. It took me about 5 minutes to stop shaking. Then I had to share with all of you! :) (Oh, and OF COURSE, I had to take a picture!)
I considered taking an "after" picture of his guts smeared across our popcorn ceiling, but decided to spare you all. Also, this picture doesn't do it justice, it was way bigger than it looks and of course, straight from the devil himself.
13 comments:
Steph, you crack me up, but congrats and way to conquer your fear!
Ha ha..I am dying right now. Not beacause of your phobia, but because you sound just like me. It takes me so long to get the guts to kill a bug...or at least a mean one like that. It's like you think of all the bad things that could happen to you if you missed it or something. Ha ha! Thanks for the laugh!
Can you allow my new email address t contine to blog stalk you guys... kalieborynski@gmail.com
ps. I have totally called my husband home from work to kill one of those... He came home and knocked the huge thing on the ground... It ESCAPED... I spent the rest of the night with my new born baby on the kitchen table!
Yeah I miss Travis for that reason because Trevor is just as afraid of cockroaches as I am. Scorpians are the ones I'm daftly afraid of. Of course if there is no man around then some how I muster up the courage to take care of it. Like one time in China it was late at night and we were watching a movie where we see this huge black crawling thing out of the corner of our eye it was the same thing you dealt with but a Chinese one anywho it's shadow was spread across the wall and freaked the ever loving snot out of all of us, but it ended up having to be me to play the brave one. So chalk that up for men, opening jars, and killing the disgusting rodents, insects, and spiders of the world.
I do not handle bugs well at all, so I know how hard that was for you, so great job. I found a bug in our house the other day that I tried to get the courage up to kill, but after about 20 minutes I just put a cup over it told Payton not to touch it and let Reddin kill it when he got home, I am not as brave as you.
YOU ARE AWESOME! I have never seen a centipede before...and I plan NOT to. Cute new background and stinkin adorable pic of Collin!
In the first week that we moved here, Scott bought me bug spray that will even kill scorpions. I'll admit that I use it on almost every bug I see in our house. Good job killing it! Hate centipedes!
Great blog! I'm glad that you were able to conquer the bug. I didn't know that about my son and his deadly aim with the cricket. Loved the school story. I can understand about your bug phobia. I don't like the little critters either. I especially hate crickets and cockroaches. Scorpions are right up there also. I killed one last week by the way. It gets a little easier the more you have to do it. Men aren not always around. I hope Collin is one who will kill them for you.
We get those bugs all the time and they are the sickest things ever! We don't have them like that in Utah so the first time I saw one out here I almost died! Way to be brave though:)
hahahahahaha! Seriously you make me laugh, I always love reading your blog because you have great stories. You seriously had me rolling this time. I laughed so hard, I cried, at the two bug story. Don't believe me? Ask Chase, I made him come in and I tried to read them to him but couldn't so he read them him self. he he. I love it. Ps Collin is such a stud he is getting so so big. Kael is a moose him self but thats stating the obvious. :)
Oh my gosh, that sounds EXACTLY like me and roaches. Right down to the shaking after I get the courage (which is rare) to kill it. I'm glad I'm not the only one. : )
I saw the title of this a couple of days ago and had to run to do something else, but I knew I was eager to see how "awesome" you are. I pictured the squeel and everything. Good for you though. We have centipede's in PA too but luckily none at our house.
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