May

 Trav's birthday was coming up so we thought it would be fun to go to a Diamondback's game! It's been years since we've done this. Memories of our first official date so long ago. I think that time was for his birthday too! We grabbed Topo burritos on our way for dinner. It was really fun! They opened the roof halfway through and because of Covid restrictions we didn't have anyone next to us or in front of us so we could put our feet up on the chairs. I'm so grateful for Travis. I thank Heavenly Father every night for him. I'm so lucky to be married to my best friend. I always feel safe, loved, protected and cherished by him. He's so loyal, calm, selfless, dependable, funny and thoughtful. He is loved by everyone who knows him but I'm the lucky one who gets him everyday!

Camilla invited us over for Sunday lunch to celebrate Trav and Brandon's birthdays! They just moved into their new house by the temple and it is stunning inside. She made delicious tacos and the most AMAZING lemon cake. We took a quick jaunt to walk around the temple grounds but the gates were closed... boo!

The boys had their piano recital and did great! She let them pick popular songs so Collin played "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz and Weston played Eye of the Tiger. I may have had a really sad moment prepping for this recital though. I was trying to help Weston practice (sadly, I haven't been good at all this year about helping them practice. Mostly I just get frustrated when I'm helping them so I decided to stay out of it and leave it to their teacher.) and realized he didn't know any of the notes. Like if I said, "play a G" he would guess. I worked with him for about 30 min. before the reality of his skill level really hit me. He did 3 years of Let's Play music (which was a huge sacrifice for me with all the driving and babysitters and personally helping him practice and going to all his classes with him... honestly his last year nearly killed me) and now he's had 2 years of private piano lessons. And he can't play. He doesn't know how to read the music. He doesn't know the notes. I was shocked. And then devastated. And angry. How is this possible?? How could he have REGRESSED the past two years? I make him practice every day. What the heck has he been doing?! The poor child... I remember losing it on him before his recital two years ago because I realized he didn't know his recital song. And here it was happening again! HOW?!  I yelled and cried and then went in my room and sobbed on my bed. I can't even describe the feeling. I wish I could play the piano. I wanted to be able to give that skill to my kids. I tried SO HARD. I gave it as much as I could for years. And for NOTHING! I felt robbed. DEFEATED. There are not words for how empty and sad I was. Like I had just spun my wheels for 5 years thinking I'd be achieving something for my child and absolutely nothing came from it. I could cry all over again thinking about it. Somehow he memorized a part of Eye of the Tiger though and performed it.

Candid, not so candid picture of me teaching, haha. I felt like I needed an action shot of the thing that has been such a big part of my life this year!

Olive had her first dance competition this year. Poor thing looked terrified. She is front and center for her dance and all the other girls look to her for the moves. She was so nervous so I'm proud of her for getting out there and doing it! And thanks to Covid, we didn't have to wait around for the awards show. 

Someone got his braces off!! It's been almost exactly one year since he got them on. And he's not done yet... this was just phase one. But he needs to wait for some baby teeth to fall out. So he's wearing a retainer at night for now. He was most excited to get the appliance thing off the roof of his mouth.

We get to see Bentley at swim lessons now! He was crying a lot and Tanner kept waving at him and trying to get his attention to cheer him up! So cute!

I LOVE these protein/Buddah bowls so much. My kids loathe sweet potatoes and are fighting me hard, but I'm not giving up! Best way to get a dinner full of nutritious food and veggies. 

Dad turned 38!! These kids are so cute with their homemade gifts. I took them all with me to Freedom Board Shop to find him a new hat and some shirts. I felt that deserved some sort of award. It was a weekday, so lucky guy got to go to work. Lisa was so sweet and sent a Nothing Bundt Cake to the office for him. I made green salsa and guac and got these yummy, fried, homemade style tortilla chips to drop off. It is Cinco de Mayo, after all! Travis really is the best of the best. He never comes home from work disgruntled or stressed. He is always thinking about me and the kids. He is easy to please and fun to be around. He is neat and organized and loves himself a homemade chocolate chip cookie right out of the oven. Or snickerdoodle. I am beyond grateful he's mine forever!

With Trav not working Fridays, it's usually his chance to go to the river! This time, the whole family came!

Father's and Sons Outing!! It didn't seem very well planned or communicated so not many families went, but they had a great time with the Laws and Monahans. Tanner had fun with his buddy from preschool, Rowen Patience!

We invited Lindi to spend the night while the boys were away. I'm addicted to the Oregano's Favorite Salad right now so that was our special dinner out!

Mother's Day

My favorite. This meme had me cackle laughing though. The truth of it hits hard. Travis always does so good to pamper me and give me the day off. We had puffed up pancakes after church and I loved the kids' cards, pictures and questionnaires. All 4 of them wrote that my favorite food is salad. Haha. Well, I guess that shows I eat a lot of them, but no, children. Mexican food will always be my favorite! I also chuckled at Olive's paper where it asks what your mom says a lot and she wrote, "Get ready. Are you ready?" Haha. That is definitely something I say to her constantly. Keeping her on task is a full time job! My heart melted when she wrote my favorite thing to do is read scriptures. And Collin knows me well with my favorite thing to relax is go in my room to watch and eat healthy ice cream. Aka. Frozen yogurt. 

Been doing a deep dive into some of my old journals and was dying over this!! Who would have thought this baby mentioned would someday date my little brother?!

Salsa with garden tomatoes! It was so fresh and light!

We (and by we, I mean Kristen) got ambitious and planned a field trip to the Butterfly Wonderland in Scottsdale! So of course, Olive needed butterfly hair. I loved how it turned out. We had a lot of fun, but poor Olive was very upset that a butterfly never landed on her. We also did this mirror maze thing and a room where you try and crawl around hitting buzzers on the wall without hitting laser beams that are shooting everywhere. Think James Bond. The kids had a blast.

Decorating sugar cookies! I'm telling you, I've run out of unique ideas!

Another PC meeting and more than ever I'm losing hope in humanity. This woman is running to replace Kathy Hoffman as AZ school superintendent, which would be wonderful. With critical race theory everywhere and comprehensive sex education I don't think public education is a safe place for our kids. 

We love cousin playdates! Scarlett really takes to Winnie, while Landon runs in the other direction, haha!

Camilla and her ideas! She wanted to do a double date so we ended up at a quirky pizza joint in the heart of Phoenix called Ziggy's Magic Pizza Shop. It has pinball machines lining one wall and a neon, checkered dance floor in the middle. All with David Bowie as the epicenter of creative genius. Apparently this place is lit at 1am but we were there around 6pm. Perfect for straight laced, moms and dads looking for dinner and 5% more excitement in their lives. Mostly, I laughed hysterically when Camilla and I joked about how easy it is to play pinball then she sunk 3 balls in a row the second they came out of the shoot. I seriously couldn't breathe. Then we went on a wild goose chase walking through sketchy downtown Phoenix in search of ice cream. Bingo! Introducing the Milkshake Bar! It was a 30 min. wait and more expensive than our dinner, but look how pretty!!! My donut was trash (expected), but the rest was yummy! Also, Phoenix reminded me of how doggone grateful I am that I live a vanilla, soccer mom lifestyle in Gilbert. 

Isn't this sunrise over the mountains beautiful?!

I usually have to run really early, but on Saturdays I don't start til 6:30 or 7. I never know if I'm going to run a 1/2 marathon until I'm in it. Just has to feel right and make sense. So proud of myself for running my fastest one yet this morning!

The Connors and O'Brian's plan a block (street) party every year but Covid ruined last years. It felt SO GREAT to gather as neighbors again. Collin had a football game so we were a little late, but we partied all afternoon. From 2-7pm. I made French vanilla cookies to contribute and Brian grilled mounds of burgers and hot dogs. We all ate and visited and the kids wore out the slip n slide. We feel so grateful to be surrounded by so many wonderful people and families. Travis' gallbladder started giving him problems near the end though. We had a little ward party at the park at night and Bro. Pomeroy announced to everyone that Travis wouldn't be there because of his gallbladder pain. I had no idea! He hadn't said a word to me. So I showed up first with the kids and everyone is asking me how Travis is. I was so confused! Luckily, he had taken some pain killers and was able to come not long after.

Lemon Ricotta pancakes from Modern Honey knocked my socks off. I just love the dense, moist texture and lemony flavor topped with berries. 

The last week of school! It was hard to believe. At the beginning of the year I felt overwhelmed and like it would last forever. Then the past couple months, the reality of it being over soon was hard to accept. I really truly love each of these kids. It has been a wonderful year together. I NEVER thought I would teach Kindergarten. Well, never say never! It was so fun teaching these Kinders to read. The whole process is so gratifying. Sometimes I felt like I was more excited for them than they were for themselves. They'd blend some sounds and read a word and I'd nearly jump out of my seat cheering for them! Livy was so hungry to learn and loved working on her laptop in the programs. She is very advanced for her age and worked on level with the second grade in just about everything except writing, which was easy on me. Lindi was probably my easiest child. Never complained. Always happy to do whatever. She also should have gotten the early bird award! Always the first one to class. And she had the most beautiful penmanship. The boys were obviously outnumbered so I felt a little bad for them. They did not enjoy anything coloring or art related which was a challenge. Liam had lots of anxiety to overcome. Harrison was not in love with sitting at his lap top. But Harrison's big eyes, oh my. Such a cute kid. And his lisp! I adored him. Liam always asked how much longer he had to do something... always looking at the clock.... but when he was engaged, he did great. Indie was supposed to do another year of preschool, but she started Kindergarten to make it easier on her mom. She improved so much! From not knowing her letters to being able to read, I was so impressed by her. Sailor felt like she was behind at the start of the year so she worked really hard to catch up. She was the only 1st grader. Such a cute personality and really took care of her little sister, Indie. Charlotte was the oldest and most advanced. She almost never needed help in her programs and was a great mentor to the other kids. I loved having her in class. Olive LOVED having me as her teacher. Although she often acted like SHE was the teacher, trying to take over or give directions to the class. She wanted to be in charge at every turn. We definitely had some power struggles. She expected special favors because I was the teacher but sad for her, I never gave them. Looking back, I feel bad, I could have given her more praise and attention. Even though it was often a struggle I think we'll remember this year as a special time together. 

Tanner had an AWESOME year with Grandma on Monday and Wednesday mornings while I taught. Landon was usually there too. They played and played and played and had fun, different snacks. They made the garage into a food storage city and planted a garden of sticks and used her Halloween man decoration as their buddy when playing house. They did puzzles and read books and built magna-tile towers. How special to have all of Grandma's attention just on them. This was such a gift I'll always remember and be grateful for. 

It was our two year anniversary of our first date with the Gardners so we met them at The Henry for dinner. How lucky we are to have them as partners! I love that even though our personalities don't match up the way we do with other friends, we find commonality and can appreciate the differences. They are GOOD people and we love them.

Olive graduated from Let's Play Music! Miss Kristen is phenomenal at her job. Olive got so so lucky to have her for half of her LPM years. Kristen read off a list of all the time and effort we as parents have put into these past three years and it was astonishing. Going to two lessons a month the first year and one lesson a month the other two years. Practicing with them every single week. Finding babysitters and driving all over town. We started this program 5 years ago with Weston and the year that Olive and Weston overlapped just about killed me. I.am.EXHAUSTED. Olive played her song she composed beautifully. She has learned a lot. Now we need to keep that momentum going! Julie and Laura LeSeuer both had daughter's in her class, so it was fun to chat with them on parent days. The three girls stuck a pose at the end.

The last day of school we had a pool party at Alyse's house. We had pizza and snacks and finished up some projects the kids had been working on. I printed out 8 copies of our class picture with a white border that everyone signed as a keepsake. I put together a 15 min. video of pictures and videos from the year. I bawled like a baby while making it. It was really special being able to watch it altogether. Kristen said that later that day Harrison was so sad and crying and saying he didn't want school to be over and asked if he could watch the video again. How sweet! And here I thought he hated school! 

The older class put together a store on the last day, to spend their class money on. Kristen said they loved it and spent most of the morning buying, selling and negotiating all the items. Kristen has had a very hard year with her family and especially at the end of the school year. These kids didn't know all that was going on or how much their teacher was dealing with, but it was amazing all that she did despite her trials. 

It's tradition to go to Bahama Bucks on the last day of school! Cheers!! Livy invited all the girls from school over to her house and Tanner was with my mom, so I took just the boys and friends! We were surprised to see Camille still working there! As we were leaving I told the boys at the door to shout "Thank you, Craig's girlfriend!" really loud. After we said it and ran I wondered if that was the best idea.... I don't even know if they're still "dating". Oops! 

After dinner that evening, I took Olive and Tanner to get their treat. While I was ordering, Olive got a bloody nose. I sent her to the bathroom, but by the time I got there to help her it looked like a lamb had been slaughtered. Blood EVERYWHERE. And it wouldn't stop! I was at a loss. I think our shaved ice was melted on the counter by the time we finally emerged from the carnage. I basically had to deep clean the whole bathroom. Even as we left it was still pouring blood but I just had to get us out of there. So much for a fun, end of the year celebration. 

The next morning was Tanner's last day of preschool and his little graduation ceremony, but I couldn't be there (Wahhh) because I was driving up to Science Camp with the Prenda kids. So thankful that Grandma could step in for me! I knew she would be the perfect person to take all the pictures and video and love on him big on his last day with Miss Heather.

You would think we'd give ourselves a break after the last day of school, huh?! Nope. It was off to Science Camp the very next morning! I dropped Tanner off at preschool and Olive went to Lindi's house for the day then I headed to Kristen's house with the boys to load up for a night at the Hathcock's cabin on Mogollon Rim by Woods Canyon Lake. The boys went in Kristen's minivan with Alyse and I was in the girl van with Allison Taylor! And boy was I glad I was! We had the party van! We danced and sang all the way there. Allison knows how to have fun! After we arrived, we unloaded and ate lunch then headed to the lake to paddleboard. One small problem... it was crazy windy and they weren't renting paddleboards with the weather being so bad. Boo. They would rent kayaks though so we got a couple of those and shared them. The kids braved the cold water while us girls lounged on the beach area. We stopped at the Rim lookout point for some quick pictures on our way back to the cabin but didn't stay long. Crazy boys on cliff edges was not my idea of fun!

Back at the cabin we coerced the kids into playing volleyball then had dinner. There was BBQ pulled pork to put on buns, watermelon, pasta salad, Caesar salad, chips and soda. One of my favorite moments of the trip was when I saw Graham walk away from the food table with just a bun and a little meat on it. I asked if that was all he was going to eat and he replied, looking dismally at all the food options, "Do you have any other food?" I about DIED. I didn't react while he was there but oh my goodness. Love Graham but THAT is why I make sure and expose my children to all sorts of food at home. You have got to be kidding me!! 

Good ol' Kristen had the kids work in groups on science projects during school that they could present at camp. And they were also prepared to do some science projects while we were there. Bless her. If I had been in charge I don't think I would have had it in me to follow through. I'm glad they all had the chance to lead some activities though.

The backyard was awesome with lots of space and hammocks. I love this picture of me and Kristen. Friends since Kindergarten. 

Sharing a blanket and our hearts. I am so thankful for the select people in my life I can be completely transparent with and vice versa. She is up against some HARD stuff, but it hasn't hardened HER. I admire how she has kept such a positive perspective. 

I brought all the stuff for smores and we spent the evening roasting and talking while the kids played night games. Right when we walked inside, and I mean RIGHT when we did, it started raining and rained all night and most of the morning. Which was kind of a bummer because it ruined our plans for a hike the next day. Oh well. Twister and more science kept us busy and the kids didn't care that it was freezing and drizzly... they kept playing outside anyway! Second funniest moment of the trip though was when Graham was sitting on the couch while the kids were all running around having a blast. Kristen asked him how he was liking it and he replied simply, "I thought it would be more fun." I couldn't help it this time, I laughed and laughed. His honesty!! 

We packed up after lunch and made a stop in Payson at the new Danzeisen Dairy store for some fancy milkshakes. Allison blared the song "My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard" as we pulled in and I jumped out and started dancing. The boys van emptied out and I was vaguely aware that my sons were watching in quiet dismay as their mother shimmied and wiggled with abandon on the pavement. Embarrassing your kids is a lot more fun than I imagined it would be. 

Dance Recital!!

The second I got home from camp I had to get Olive's hair and makeup done then hurry to the Higley Center for the Arts for pictures and dress rehearsal. We were there for FOUR hours. Oy! The next day was recital. They had it divided into 3 performances and Olive was in the first 2. She was in 4 dances total. A jazz, ballet, hip hop and her team dance. Some of them I had never seen before so when the curtains opened I was quickly scanning faces to find her. And she was front and center every time. I was so proud of her! She did amazing! When I went to pick her up after the first recital, one of the head choreographers was at the doors and she stopped me and said, "Olive needs to audition for company." I was surprised. I had never spoken to this lady before and didn't know she knew Olive or that I was her mom. I stammered out some thoughts like, "Oh, I don't know if she's up for 12 hours of dance a week" and she replied something like, "She can handle it. She'll do great. We'll see you Tuesday. (When auditions are)" I was flattered for her and kind of excited but that seemed like a big leap. When I went to pick her up after the second recital the owner of the studio, Candace, caught my eye and said, "So we'll see Olive on Tuesday!" 

I guess I'll follow up with what happened since I'm writing this in August. Olive auditioned and made company. We were both SO excited. I went to the parent meeting where they lined out all the expectations. Time and financial. It was a lot. But I felt like we could do it. The only sticky part was competitions on Sundays. They were required. Only 6 or 7, but that still felt like more than I was comfortable with. I had a pit in my stomach. I waited until almost everyone had asked their questions and left and ended up talking to the same teacher who had encouraged us to have Olive audition. I told her about my concerns. She was nice but made it clear this was non-negotiable. I understood. But what rubbed me the wrong way was when she said, "You know, we're not in Utah. (Um, what? I didn't say our religion but she had me all figured out.) This is expected. If you want your child to excel in anything you're going to have to give up Sundays. You aren't the only one. There are other moms who feel the same way, but they did it anyway." I smiled and was polite, but I walked out to my car in tears. This didn't feel good to me. I had watched other families pursue hobbies and athletics on Sundays and I always knew that wasn't for us. But here we were. She had this amazing opportunity. She had teachers who saw her potential and wanted her on their team. I found out that Candance Studio was making a name for itself in the dancing world. It was up and coming as the "it" studio to be at. It's very expensive but we are lucky enough to be able to afford it. This is something I never had for myself and always wished I could have had these opportunities. Was I being too rigid? Could we make it work? I know it sounds like I was being dramatic but it really felt like I was at a gigantic fork in the road for her. That this decision was BIG. And would forever alter the course of her life. In fact, this was going to become her new lifestyle. And if I'm being honest, I had a few other concerns. I've watched how the girls act in their bras and tiny outfits. They even spoke about the drama that is evitable at the parent meeting. The Tik Toks and boy issues. I knew this was the path that could make Olive GREAT. She could dance competitively and go to college on a scholarship and even go beyond that. But what would be the cost?  And what did I ultimately really want for her? I care way more about who her friends are, what choices she makes, her testimony of Christ, than her dancing career. And yes, she could have both! Again, I know I sound dramatic. But I can't explain how I knew... I knew if she went this direction, it would make everything harder. And yet, I wrestled with this decision for DAYS. I cried. I talked to a couple of close friends. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was tearing my heart out to pass this opportunity up. I wanted it for her SO freaking badly. But ultimately, I didn't feel right about it. I slowly let the dream slip away. I told myself it would be ok for her to just do rec classes. We could figure something else out. That's when I took it to google and a studio called Inspire popped up. I had heard of it before but never really looked into it. I called to ask more questions. Yes they do competitions. No they don't compete on Sundays, ever. They have a modest dress code. No bras or crop tops. They focus on having an uplifting environment and using the performing arts to become our best selves. I had her audition for their Academy team and she made it. Good things to come. :)

Grandma came to both her recitals! It meant a lot to have her support! That's a lot of recital for one day!

It just had to be documented. I think Travis left to go to the river or something so I decided to be fun and take the kids to Chick-fil-A for dinner. They had just opened their lobby so I thought the kids could play on the playground equipment inside. Nope. Lobby was open but toys were not. It was one melt down after another. I patiently cleaned up all the spills, mediated all the fighting and basically put out one fire after another until we were walking away. I told Tanner to not run around in the parking lot and stay by me, right as he kicked a cup laying on the ground full of soda and it exploded all over his foot. I scolded him and he fell apart. I don't even remember why Olive is crying but we got in the car a complete disaster. It was 60 min. of hell. Poor Collin tried his best the whole time to be helpful. This is what you get for trying to be a fun mom.

Tanner favorite part of swim lessons is the warm shower afterward. Takes after his mama sitting there with hot water running over him. But also, gross. Who lets their kid sit on a public floor leaning against a public shower wall? I'm shuddering typing this. 

Silly boy has started drawing his own baths and this is what I walked in to!

Lots of fun girls in our ward in Olive's activity days class!

Of the year party with all the CanDancers. We'll miss Candace!

The only thing I'll remember from this picture is that after swimming at Camilla's MIL's house, we went to In'N'Out right afterward as a fun treat for lunch. Had no idea it was the last day of public school and a half day for high school. The place was beyond PACKED. And they forgot our order. So we waited 45 min. for 3 burgers. My claustrophobia and hunger almost made me snap.

And that brings us to Travis's gallbladder-ectomy. He had an ultrasound that confirmed his gallbladder was full of stones. With more frequent night time episodes (meaning he wakes up with pain in his back and needing to take pain pills to go back to sleep) he consulted with a Dr. Howard and felt comfortable going forward with surgery. I dropped him off at the surgery center off of Recker and Baseline and went to the gym for an hour. Shortly afterward, I was allowed to go back to the recovery room. He was just coming to from his anesthesia. The doctor said the surgery went smoothly. Relief! (Driving away I had started having some panicky thoughts.) The first thing out of Travis's mouth was a slurred, "Hey beautiful". That man. If being half drugged reveals your true self, he was all sorts of sweet and complimentary and loving on me. I have the most loyal husband. His nurse was wonderful and went over all the meds with me and made sure he was good before wheeling him out to our car. I helped him up the stairs and he went straight to bed. Surgery was on Friday and he was good and rested and stayed in bed all weekend. Except that he went to church! Naughty! I wish he hadn't done that. Monday was Memorial Day and he just sat poolside while we partied at my parent's house. Then he went back to work on Tuesday!

It ended up that the best weekend for Travis and I to go on a much needed getaway, landed on Tanner's birthday. Good thing he's turning 4 and has no idea what day it really is, haha! So we told him his birthday was the Saturday before (the day after Travis's surgery) and had a Spiderman party for him in the backyard. Gotta start with donuts though!

He invited Della, Landon, Rowen and Noble. The siblings chipped in and we cleaned the backyard up really nice. Set up a kiddie pool and slip n slide, had pizza and cake, blew bubbles and threw water balloons and had a squirt gun fight. His brothers and sister had as much fun as anybody. Collin is always up for a party. Even a 4 year old one. 

We sure love Mr. Tanner man!

He, in turn, loves meat. Beef jerky, hot dogs, roast, ham slices, BACON, sausage.

Ironically though, he also likes salad. In particular, the crunchy bits at the base of romaine leaves. I am required to pick them out of all my Salad and Go salads and make a pile for him. He will also eat raw onions! RAW ONIONS! Picks those out of salads too! 

He asks to watch Paw Patrol, Blippi or Puppy Dog Pals. 

He sleeps with a sound machine, a sippy cup of water, and his blue blankie. He's also fond of Chubby the Bear. But he says it fast altogether like Chu-bé-thebear.

He is a mama's boy.

He has the cutest space between his two, front teeth.

His skin coloring lives up to his name... he really is Tanner than the rest of us!

 He has the cutest lisp. Can't say his "r's" and doesn't pronounce "l's" real great. I love how he says probably- "pwobawee" and Collin "Cawin" and Olive "Awive"

Lucky boy got Chick-fil-a for dinner!

Memorial Day turned out really fun having a BBQ at my parent's house! It was P day, so we got to video chat with Craig and found out he is going to get to go to Honduras again!