Terry's Baptism

Where to begin??!! 

A week or two before this past Easter, I was reading a general conference talk in the Ensign about missionary work. There were bullet points about how to specifically do missionary work. One of them mentioned sharing it with friends and neighbors. As I read it, I had an impression that we needed to do something for our neighbors for Easter. I was already overbooked and overwhelmed with daily life and Easter festivities, but I had made up my mind about it, so it was time to put a plan into action. I decided we could give each of our neighbors a Book of Mormon, a loaf of homemade monkey bread, a Passalong card and a personal note from us. I asked Travis to type up the note, explaining who we were and why we were giving them this book. After church on Easter Sunday, we all kept our Sunday clothes on, loaded up the stroller with the books and bread and started walking up our street, knocking on doors. Many people didn't answer, but several did. Our neighbor, Terry, who lives across the street from us happened to be one of the ones who didn't answer. So like the rest, we just left it on his doorstep. A couple of hours later, I got a phone call from him (We had left our phone number on the card.) He genuinely thanked us for the bread and book and expressed his gratitude to us for being such good neighbors. 

It was shortly after that, that I heard from the sister missionaries. They said that they had knocked on Terry's door and he had allowed them to come back the next week. He had mentioned the book that we gave him and said he was excited to read it! I was amazed!! Could it really be this easy??

We were out of town for that first discussion, but I attended the one after that. Being that it was the sister missionaries who were teaching him, they always needed another girl with them during the lessons. Excepting 2 or 3 lessons, I was that extra girl there for all the rest of them. I was really nervous for my first discussion with him. I had no idea what to expect or what my role was during the lesson. I remember that I didn't say much during the conversation, but I did say the closing prayer. I felt the Spirit strongly as I prayed and left feeling like maybe in at least that way, I had contributed. Through all the lessons, Terry amazed me with his genuine interest and questions. He was NEVER argumentative or contentious. If he had a question or perhaps a differing point of view, he always expressed it with the most respect and consideration. By his second lesson, he had sped read the entire Book of Mormon (basically read all the chapter headings and skimmed the chapters). With everything he learned, he kept saying how different the church was, from what he had been lead to believe all his life. He was very impressed by how it was centered and focused on Christ. He had just always heard that Mormons weren't Christians. Now he knew first hand that we are. He grew up in California as a Protestant and had always been warned to stay away from the Mormons. But as he grew up and lived his life, he admitted that he had been impressed by any Mormon that he knew. He felt they were genuinely good people and lived their lives according to high standards. He said he was surprised at himself for not having read the Book of Mormon earlier because he had made it a general goal to read most religious books of scripture. He is a very spiritual person and has prayed nearly every morning of his entire life. (He's 67). However, he has always shied away from organized religion. He never liked how judgmental and oppressive they all were. He said that all the other organized religions just never "sat right" with him. 

But the biggest reason he left his childhood religion, was that when he was in medical school, his dad very suddenly committed suicide. Never left a note, never gave him any indication he was even dealing with depression. Obviously, this changed his world. But even worse, shortly thereafter, his pastor had a conversation with him and basically condemned his father to hell. It made him very angry and he never went back to church after that. It was 3 or 4 lessons in, that Terry confessed all of this to us. His pain and vulnerability was visible. I had tears in my eyes as he described the immense hurt and betrayal he had felt. It was like there were still open wounds on his heart. It was with as much tenderness and compassion I could convey, that I gently assured him that his father was NOT condemned to hell. That in situations of suicide, that is not anyone's judgment to make. God is all knowing and all compassionate. He is the only one who knows his father's heart, situation, background, abilities and intentions. Suicide is still a very grave sin. It is of course not taken lightly. But the church has made clear that there is absolutely still hope. By the end of our visit that night, I felt as though a weight was possibly made a bit lighter on Terry's shoulders. Of course it wasn't removed, but a comfort was extended that hadn't been offered in the 40+ years since this tragedy had occurred. It felt miraculous to be a part of that. 

There were still a couple of other "hurdles" to jump. Terry was a self professed coffee addict. Drinking upward of 8 cups a day. And while he was adamantly against the abuse of alcohol, he did have a glass of wine each night with dinner. He joked (albeit seriously) that he probably had the best wine collection in town. He also enjoyed smoking cigars occasionally with friends. After sharing the Word of Wisdom with him, he only argued that a glass of wine a day is medically beneficial for you, and even something he tells his patients to do. We challenged him to make it a matter of prayer. And suggested that this might be a large act of faith for him, in giving it up. A situation where we obey God's counsel, even if we don't fully understand all the reasons, or even feel there are reasons against it. It was several weeks that he seemed to struggle with this. He had already given up the coffee. He had switched to decaf, then to hot water and admitted he was really enjoying water and even felt better since he had given up the coffee! Everyone at the hospital was shocked, for he was known for his cup of coffee always being in his hand. The cigars weren't an issue either. But that glass of wine was. Finally, weeks later, he said he had gotten his answer through prayer. He had learned for himself that the Word of Wisdom is from God. I have to admit, all of this was miraculous to me. I am a doubter. I have always doubted missionary work because I felt that people wouldn't change. They wouldn't want to and wouldn't be willing to. Watching Terry change his life to be in accordance with the gospel of Jesus Christ was life changing to me as well. He renewed my faith and strengthened my own testimony. Because the biggest outcome of all of this was that Terry was happier! He wasn't begrudging his changes. He adamantly professed the increased amount of joy in his life! And he wasn't being quiet about it either! He was telling everyone he knew about what he was learning. Because he's truly so well known and respected at the hospital and in his profession... a very steady, fair and moral man.... it was making waves. He laughed that his colleagues were worried about him and wondering what this mid-life crisis was all about! I thought it was so wonderful to hear him talk about how he was sharing this new knowledge with everyone around him. He wasn't ashamed of it, he was proud of it! What an example that was to me! Me, being someone who never liked to talk about the church with non-members for fear of being judged, misunderstood or viewed as crazy or too pushy. Terry would often walk us to the door, genuinely thanking us for our time and efforts on his behalf. Telling us how much joy this had brought him. But I always told him, no YOU are the one to thank! You have renewed my spirits and brought ME so much happiness. This was definitely a two way street!

When we first started meeting with him, while I could tell he was interested, it also started very hesitatingly. He acted like he had a very neutral interest in learning about the church. Almost like it was just for general knowledge's sake. Gradually, I could see that hesitancy turn into genuine interest. But it still took a couple of invitations before he attempted going to church. (However, the first time he did come to church was amazing!! The talks in church were PERFECT. All about the Book of Mormon testifying of Jesus Christ. I sat behind him and watched him nod his head while the speakers were talking. I felt my heart fill with joy as I saw him be touched by the Spirit. I was a wonderful sacrament meeting!) Normally, the missionaries invite the investigator to be baptized at the first discussion. But they didn't do that with Terry. They said it didn't feel right. After a few lessons, Sis. Waite did invite him to be baptized. He nodded his head but with obvious fear and said placidly that he'd pray about it. Many weeks went by, before both sisters brought it up again. It was the first week of August and they told him they thought he'd be ready for baptism by Aug. 30. Again, with the deer in the headlights eyes, and the "I'll pray about it" response. I was super nervous. I don't like being pushy, or even assertive for that matter, so while I recognized the need for all of it, I was so uncomfortable. (He later laughed that he lost a whole night of sleep after that invitation! He just paced his back porch pondering and praying about it.) I believe it was the week after that, that I got an excited text from the sisters. "Terry just text us that he got his answer! That the Book of Mormon is true!" Terry shared that experience later. He is a very reasonable and scientific man. He said he had been praying very hard, when the thought came into his mind, "The Book of Mormon comes by grace and faith." He said the thought surprised him because it didn't seem to come from himself. And he had never had that thought before. So he pondered on it and realized that it meant the Book of Mormon came by the grace of God and it is received by us through faith. From that moment on, he knew it was true. Whenever I hear or see anyone thank him for sharing that testimony with them, he almost shrugs his shoulders and exclaims, "Well, I'm just being honest!" :) I also love how he got his answer. We all receive it in different ways. God knew how best to give him HIS answer, and that's how it was done. 

Well, then I felt really bad, because I realized that my grandparent's wedding anniversary party was on the 30th! I knew we couldn't miss it, but there was also no way we were going to miss his baptism. The missionaries didn't want to push it back at all, so he moved it up a week! We were so grateful. Two nights before his baptism, he had his last discussion. Sis. Howell's had to be at another appt. so I was Sis. Waite's companion. The lesson was about missionary work and family history work. When we were done, Terry gave the closing prayer. It was the first time I'd heard him pray. It was the most sincere and heartfelt thanks to God. For the Evans' and for the missionaries. For the gospel and for Christ. I felt tears start to pour down my cheeks and the Spirit fill the room. He enveloped me in the tightest hug afterward and I felt like my heart would burst. Words cannot describe the perfect and immense joy that was felt. These are the moments that life is made of.

That same night, when Travis got back from his meetings, we went back over to Terry's to give him a new set of scriptures with his name on them. He didn't have the King James version of the bible or the triple combination yet. He was so grateful and said they were going to the grave with him! 

His baptism was Saturday, the 23rd at 2pm. He asked if Travis would baptize him. Josh Valgardson gave the talk on baptism. Josh is in our ward and a pharmacist at the same hospital Terry works at. It was a very heartfelt talk.

When it came time for the actual baptism, it ended up taking 3 tries! I guess there is a leak in the font that we didn't know about, so the water was considerably lower than what Travis filled it to. Twice, his clothes billowed to the top. The third time, Terry pushed himself straight to the bottom and laid as flat as he could. I wondered later if it embarrassed him at all, but he was completely unphased by it. He just kept saying how wonderful and cleansed he felt. 

I gave the talk on the Holy Ghost. I felt a lot of anxiety while preparing it. I wanted it to be special. When I finally figured out what I should say though, I was excited to give it. I just hoped I wouldn't cry so much that no one could understand me! I started out by giving some logistics on the Holy Ghost. What it means to have it as a constant companion versus just feeling its influence. Then I talked about a few of the roles of the Holy Ghost. Namely, as the Comforter, a guide and a witness. I shared the example of my Uncle Dwight and Aunt Jori recently losing their Down Syndrome son, CJ. And how devastating it was for our whole family. Upon initially hearing the news, I was sure that my aunt would not be able to recover. And while not taking away from the severity of the tragedy, they were still able to feel a peace and comfort surround them at the time they pulled CJ out of the canal. That is not a normal feeling for parents to have at that moment. But that was a gift of the Spirit. A strength and comfort in the midst of heartbreaking tragedy. 

In referring to the Holy Ghost as a guide, I talked about the day I received the prompting to do something for our neighbors for Easter. There is no doubt in my mind that that thought was not from me. It sounds boastful to share that story, but it's truly with every ounce of humility that I do it. I am humbled to the earth, that God trusted me with that prompting. 

When I talked about the Holy  Ghost as a witness I recounted my recent temple interview and how much I love that interview. The first question asks, "Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost." Every time I'm asked that question, the Holy Ghost floods over me, witnessing the truth of God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. It's with conviction in my soul that I answer yes. It is humbling and strengthening and I love it. I bore my testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ and the power that comes in the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was so grateful for the opportunity I had to do that. 

Then, Terry got up to bear his testimony. He shared a little bit of his journey. He said that when the missionaries came to his door, he was surprised. No one ever comes to his door! Then he thought he'd tell them, no thank you. But something prevented him from doing so. Something prompted him to let them schedule an appointment to come back. Still, after they left, he began rehearsing what he'd say to them when they came back. "Thanks, but I have my own faith. I'm not interested. I'm old and you'd be wasting your time." Then, the next day, we left the Book of Mormon and bread on his door. He was touched by the note and sincerity of it. In 22 years of living in that house, no one had ever done something like that. He said he looks for signs in his life, and he saw the two incidents as a sign. He decided to let the missionaries teach him once.
But with each visit, he felt compelled to let them come back. He felt very cautious about what he was learning at first. He prayed a lot. He told how we had given him a DVD about DNA evidence behind the Book of Mormon and how much he enjoyed it. He said he loved learning how much compassion was in the church. (A little background on Terry- he is extremely compassionate. He is generous with his money and gives to many humanitarian organizations. He ran a free healthcare clinic for 8 years in North Dakota. He gives his personal phone number to all his patients. He is a huge women's rights advocate. He has financially adopted a couple of impoverished girls from his time in North Dakota.The list goes on and on!) He described his experience of receiving answers to his prayers about the Book of Mormon and Word of Wisdom. Very solemnly he stated that alcohol would never again cross his lips. He told about his experience with religion in the past and the traumatic event of losing his father. Then described the joy that has come into his life as he's accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was one of the most powerful testimonies I've ever heard. 

Pres. Haws also spoke and thanked Terry for the example he was being and for the renewed faith and energy that he was giving to all of us. I could have shouted, amen! :) He spoke for a while and everything he said was just perfect. The Spirit was so strong. There was so much love in the room. I never wanted it to end.

After the baptism, we invited everyone over for an open house. The Primary room was just about filled to capacity for the baptism and I was really happy when most everyone came to the open house. I had been preparing feverishly for it! Our enormous front room is usually an eye sore. I've wanted curtains since we moved in, but never wanted to pay for them. We have no furniture. There was a huge red stain on the white carpet that the carpet cleaners said probably wouldn't come out. So we researched how to get out red stains and went to work! In 3 applications, we were able to get it out! I bought curtains online and paid a ridiculous amount to get them shipped in time. We carried in our couches from the family room and set up additional chairs. I harassed the repair man enough to finally fix the gaping hole in the ceiling from water damage and repair the sagging paint down the side of the wall. I bought fresh flowers and made homemade cheesecake, chips and salsa, cookies, shrimp cocktail and lemonade. Brinn brought fruit and dip. I had soft church music playing and all the windows open for as much sunlight as possible! It was a transformed room! It really looked amazing. I was so glad!! All of it made me so happy. I just wanted everything to be perfect for Terry. And it really felt just that- perfect. 

The next day, Travis confirmed him a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and gave him the gift of the Holy Ghost, along with a very specific and personal blessing. We were sitting just a few rows in front of the circle and I watched as Terry wiped away tears afterward. Everything was so special. This has been the most amazing experience for me and our family. It's really put the fire of missionary work in my heart! I am so so so grateful for the promptings of the Spirit and the trust of Heavenly Father in allowing us to be a part of Terry's conversion. It has undoubtedly and irrevocably changed my life.