Birth Story

So Sunday night I woke up twice with really strong contractions. Both times I got up to go to the bathroom then got back in bed waiting for them to get worse so I could wake up Trav. And both times I just fell back asleep.

Morning dawned and I got Collin off to preschool, then called my doctor's office to schedule an appointment to see what was up. It had been over a week since my last appt. 

My appt. was at 10am and I left Weston with my mom, crossing my fingers that I'd at least be dilated somewhat. 

First, they hooked me up to the baby monitor and about gave me a heart attack when they couldn't find a heartbeat. The nurse gives me a concerned look and asks when the last time I felt my baby move was. I'm certain my heart froze. I instantly had tears in my eyes, just as she moves the monitor lower and finds the heartbeat. I don't know if I've ever felt such relief in my entire life. Nonchalantly, she mentions that the baby is a lot lower than she expected. Awesome, lady. Now go scar someone else for life. 

When the monitor readings checked out OK, Dr. Nouri did an ultrasound and exam. She told me I was dilated to a 5 and could go to the hospital if I wanted!! Talk about roller coaster emotions. Now I was over the moon!! I told her I'd rather wait and labor at home a bit more and go in when the contractions got stronger. I called my Mom and Travis to tell them the news and texted my sisters, Rachel, and Megan. I could start to feel the contractions get stronger, but I wanted to stop by the grocery store for a few things first. After that, I figured it'd be helpful if I had a cheeseburger to help labor along, so Wendy's it was. :)

By the time I got home, I had to stop occasionally between bites to get through contractions. Luckily, Travis was able to see all his morning patients and just leave at his lunch time to come home. Megan was a saint and took Collin and Weston for the afternoon. I started using my medicine ball to get through contractions. First, I'd sit on it and rock side to side. Then, I knelt down and rested my upper body over it to roll back and forth. I felt like a ticking time bomb doing that though as my mom and Travis sat on the couch and watched me. Around 1 or 1:30pm I decided we could go to the hospital. The contractions were feeling much stronger and I had to stop and close my eyes while they passed. 

The hospital is only a few minutes from our house and in no time I was admitted and up at the labor and delivery floor. They were pretty busy though and got me started in a recovery room first, because there weren't any delivery rooms available. 

I got changed into a gown and requested a medicine ball to continue rocking on. The room was really tiny. My nurse's name was Mary. She was a tall, slender, gray haired lady that had been working at this hospital for 20 years. My mom was great to be taking video of the whole process, along with pictures. 

My concept of time is a little skewed , but I think I was transferred to a delivery room after about an hour. It was much larger, but very dated. There was a little, box TV on an old stand, along with some 80's looking Indian decor. 

By now the contractions were getting so much worse. When I had gotten to the hospital I was told I was only dilated to a 6! That was just plain annoying. I had my Pandora radio on the Enya station, trying to muster some peaceful vibes and was still sitting on the medicine ball, bent over the bed. I guess a storm had started up outside, but I was oblivious. 

Travis stayed right by my side and put pressure on my back as I needed it. I wanted to have this baby without an epidural. 

The next thing I remember doing is starting to groan through the contractions. Mary checked me again but I hadn't gotten much past a 7, maybe 8. The pain was wearing on me. As the contractions intensified, I couldn't get comfortable. I had gotten on the bed to be checked and now I didn't feel like I could get off. Every time I moved I felt like it started another contraction. I was frozen in my place. I was starting to sweat. My groaning got louder and longer. I can remember just saying "ahhhhhhh" over and over again. After one contraction let up it felt like barely a moment before the next one started in. I could feel myself getting panicky. I had a grip on Travis's hand and he tried to help by staying near my face and reminding me to breathe. By now I was frantic. I was exhausted and could feel the gown and my hair sticking to my body. The pain was so bad that I couldn't hardly bear it. I felt like I was barely surviving, if that. I can remember as each contraction started I'd just writhe in pain and toss my head back and forth willing it to be over. I felt the need to bite down on something, anything. My jaw moved up and down, just needing to bite down. Travis's hand and face were so near mine, that I remember him joking that he needed his hands. Meaning, please don't bite my fingers... I'm a dentist. The joke didn't land in the moment. :) I begged to be checked again. Now they said I was nearly at a 10, but not quite. I couldn't do it anymore. I was done. D.U.N. Dun! I couldn't imagine worse pain. I couldn't take it anymore. I asked if I could have an epidural. I remember the nurse and Travis just looking at me like I was crazy. They knew I was on the brink of having a baby, but I didn't care. I wanted it.Trav kept telling me I was almost there. That I could do it. I wanted to believe him, but I didn't. So I begged for drugs. Any drugs. Just give me drugs! So 10 min. before I had her, they put something in my IV. I didn't feel a difference. They started preparing the room and I could feel pressure and the need to push. I just wanted to push so bad. I wanted it to be over. The doctor was doing a c-section, so they called in the midwife. My mom was videotaping off and on from the corner. They wanted Travis to moved down so he could hold one of my legs, but I wouldn't let go of him. I was grabbing onto the poor man for dear life in a vice like grip. So they asked my mom to come hold a leg. When they said I could push, I did, but now, the horrible pain that I didn't think could get any worse, just skyrocketed. I remember screaming. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Words don't describe it. It was just intense, hot ridiculous pain. Sorry to be so graphic, but I honestly felt like I was being ripped apart. After the first push, I guess her head was out, but I thought it was over. They told me to push again. I had no idea how I was going to do that. I sound like such a wimp! Women push for hours and I didn't know how I was going to push twice. I mustered everything I had left, which wasn't much, and pushed. And screamed. Again with the red, hot ripping apart pain. And then relief. Oh the relief! Again... words can't describe it. I was so spent. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Just spent. I could hear her crying and in seconds they were handing her up to me. I was instantly sobbing. I remember just crying and saying, "My baby, my baby" over and over again. I was so emotional. It was the most tender moment for me. I could hardly contain my love for her. I don't think I'll ever forget when they handed me my baby girl. The sweetest little thing. I wanted to hold her forever in that moment.

 It was also so sweet to have my mom there. She wasn't at the boys' births, so this was new for all of us. I was so grateful she wanted to be there. 

Then, after the initial moments had passed, I slumped against my pillow and emphatically commanded Travis, "Don't EVER let me do that again!" Hehe. For the record, he wasn't sure why I did it without an epidural a second time anyway. I had my reasons... they just all flew out the window when I was dilated to a 9. I think for the rest of the night, I had the thought at least 3 dozen times, "I'm so glad I'm not having a contraction right now. Life is so good when you're not having a contraction. :)

I also need to add, Travis is my hero. He stayed right next to me, in my face even, carrying me through it. He never stopped coaching me or encouraging me. The entire time I was having contractions... several hours worth, he was by my side, telling me to breathe. Telling me I could do it. I truly couldn't have done it without him. I love him more than I could ever say. 

The rest of the night is kind of a blur. She was born at 5:39pm. The hospital was only used to delivering maybe one or two babies a day and that day they delivered 6. And 3 of those 6 were within 1/2 hour of each other. Mine being the middle one. So after I delivered the afterbirth, I remember the midwife checking me and saying I didn't tear at all. I almost had to see it to believe it. If that's what it felt like to not tear, I can't even fathom the alternative! Then, the room cleared out and we were left alone for 2 hours! She wasn't even weighed until almost 8pm. 7lbs 2. something ounces. Travis left to go get the boys to meet her. He came back with pina colada smoothies from Megan. She is so wonderful. I had missed dinnertime, so that smoothie was the only thing I had to eat from between noon and 9pm. The boys were excited but subdued when they saw her. They have been so excited to have a baby sister. After that, Trav took my mom and the boys back to the house and got some Taco Bell for me. I had gotten a semi-shower and was moved into a recovery room. We had a little bit of time together to eat and hold her, before he headed home. That night holding my sweet Olive was sublime. I didn't feel like my heart could be any fuller. Like there was a way to be any happier or feel more love. I felt euphoric. And so, so SO grateful. I'm an incredibly blessed Momma.

 (And yikes... please excuse the excess skin showing.)