The Birth Story

Well, last Saturday was my due date, Feb. 5, and I wasn't feeling any different. We went to a birthday party at the church building and came home and watched some t.v. and went to bed around 10:30pm. Around 12:45am I woke up to go to the bathroom and felt {wet}. (Maybe I should warn that there may be some TMI in this post, so don't read if you don't care for somewhat personal details!:) My water didn't break with Collin so I didn't know what to expect, but when I tried to stand up again and more "water" came out I knew it was time. I woke Travis up to tell him my water was leaking (he later tells me he did an inward groan because he was so tired... sorry babe.. these things always seem to happen on no sleep) and I called the doctor. Wonderful Rachel came over at 1am to be with Collin and we braved the treacherous, snow covered roads to Millard Suburban. We went through the checking-in process and the nurse told me I was only dilated to maybe a 4. Bug. I was hoping to labor mostly at home and then go to the hospital when I felt close to delivering, but when your water breaks, you lose that option. At that point, I was feeling very light, spaced out contractions, which confused me because all I've heard about were the many girls out here who have their water break with their second child and 3 hours later they have a baby. So I'm thinking that I should be popping this kid out by 4am! Ya, right. They set us up in the delivery room and after all the paperwork was filled out, we were told to try and sleep. Trav caught some uncomfortable z's, but they have to be joking to think I'm actually going to sleep. Around 4:30am the contractions started getting painful and I started squirming and breathing through them. On a pain scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt, I was around a 5. This went on for 2 hours until they came in again to check me. She tells me I'm still a 4. What?! I had to bite my tongue from demanding a second opinion. I sighed and said I may as well get the epidural then. Obviously this is going to take longer than I thought and these contractions are hurting. So my nurse suggested I sit on the birthing ball (like an excersise ball, but oblong shaped) while she got the epidural cart and maybe that will help the contractions become more regular. Well it sure did! Immediately I felt them get closer together and much more painful, but the funny thing was, they were much more managable on the ball. I would just rock side to side on it and hold the hand rail. I picked a focal point (a design on my snazzy gown) and breathed through them and felt very {in control}, even though I'd say I was up to a 7 or 8 on pain. Trav came over and massaged my shoulders and tried to convince me to get the epidural after every contraction. Once he tried to convince me DURING the contraction, thinking that would motivate me more. The nurse came back after an hour and said my doctor wanted me to start Pitocin since I wasn't progressing. I protested and asked her to check me again because I was SURE now I was further along. She seemed doubtful, but agreed, telling me I'd have to be at least a 6 for me not to have to start the Pitocin. She checked (even through two contractions... awkward) and announced I was an 8! Yes! I was so proud of myself. The nurse, Judith (older, spunky lady... really liked her) told me I was doing great so I decided I wanted to forgo the epidural. She was supportive so I really believed I could do it. Trav was not so excited. His efforts had been in vain. But once I told him I had made up my mind and I needed him to help me do this, because I really wanted to do it on my own, he was great. Maybe I should clarify a few points.... I'm really not a masochist. I actually think I have a low pain tolerance. But for some weird reason, I feel like it's a {rite of passage} for women to have babies without epidurals! I mean, that's how it was done for thousands of years and not that you have to do it without one every time, but I just wanted to know once what it feels like. Just to say, yes- I know what it feels like to have a baby and not be completely numb from the waist down. I know there is no prize for doing it without painkillers, I don't know... I guess I'm crazy. Anyway, at this point in the game, I was hurting, but still felt like I could {do it}. I think if I knew what the next hour and a half would bring, I would have screamed for the anesthesiologist right then. Now the contractions are getting a little out of hand. Make that a lot out of hand. Definitely 10's on the pain scale. I couldn't be on the ball anymore, since the baby needed to move down, so I writhed on my side on the bed, holding Trav's hand. Now, since I had always thought I'd get the epidural, we hadn't practiced any spiffy {methods} that "natural" people use... like the Bradley Method or what not. So we were just wingin' it! Trav would try to get me to keep my eyes open and breath slow and tell me I could do it and stay in control. Literally for two contractions I just pictured a Dove chocolate. Then I pictured a Navajo Taco from Cheesecake Factory and dipping fries in ranch. (I like food... leave me alone) Near the end, I couldn't focus on anything. Trav would dab my face with a wet cloth and stay in my face when I was losing it. I thought I was going to die. Pain like this has to mean death. I truly didn't know how I was going to make it. I felt like I was going in and out of consciousness. By the time Dr. Metchler got there and they were prepping the room for the baby, it was about 9am. I could feel the pressure of the baby bearing down and I felt like I could push, but I was scared to. After one of the worst contractions, I remember listlessly looking at Trav and saying, "help... help me." Later, he told me how hard it was for him to watch me grow through all that and I felt kind of bad. I hadn't thought about it from his perspective. But, boy is he my hero. In all reality, I couldn't have done it without him. When I finally did push, it was CRAZY painful. I screamed at the top of my lungs. Yes, at the top of my lungs... and we all know I can hit high notes when I scream. Really, words don't describe it, and I'll spare any more graphic details. My whole body was shaking and I didn't think I had it in me to get this kid out. Luckily, only two more pushes and two more bloody screams and his head was out. I was still in massive pain, but that was when the nurse rushed back to me telling me to stop pushing because they needed to suction his mouth. I guess there was meconium in my water, so they had to be sure he didn't aspirate any. I tried not to push, but maybe 10 seconds later, there was no helping it- I felt like my body involuntarily pushed the rest of him out. Finally, relief. But I still didn't feel out of the clear. It was so traumatic I can only liken it to being in a horrible car accident and your body not catching up to reality. You still think you might be dead. Now, instead of shaking, I felt like my body was doing little convulsions, like I was coming out of shock. They placed the baby on my stomach, but he was gray and not crying and I remember wondering why they didn't take him and help him. I guess they were just cutting the cord and then they wisked him off and I lost touch with what happened next since it was afterbirth time. :) That was another part that I didn't remember at all with Collin since I was numb, but this time I could feel it come out. And now, the miracle of miracles. The doctor tells me I didn't tear at all and didn't need stitches! I was in disbelief. Surely I had torn completely. How could I have felt pain like that and still be in one piece? But don't get me wrong, I was grateful.

(So did I paint a horrible enough picture? Because it was quite horrible. And as I read back over this, it still doesn't do it justice. So even though I'm glad I can check that off my list, I don't believe I'll be doing it again.)

Meanwhile, I don't realize it, but Weston is in trouble. Travis was by him, taking video and pictures, but at one point, the specialist looked at him and said seriously, "Now might not be the best time, Dad." I don't even know all of it, but originally the cord had been wrapped around his neck and he had yet to breathe. They were suctioning his mouth out and trying to get him to breathe, but he wasn't. I guess they eventually had to do a quick intubation, and that worked. Finally, he could get some air and started crying. When he was cleaned and the specialists were satisfied with his status, they wrapped him up and handed him to me. He still looked so pale. It was a bit surreal to be holding my second baby. I couldn't believe how small he was! Just a peanut.

 My team! Couldn't have done it without Travis and Judith. And I guess Dr. Metchler. :)

 That night, Travis brought Collin in to meet his brother. He was SO excited to meet baby brother. He kept pointing to his hat and saying "hat" over and over again.

 The Shaws also came to visit. They just got back from Japan. :) What would I do without amazing Rachel??!! Not only did she come stay at our house in the middle of the night, she watched Collin all of Sunday morning, came over Sunday night so Trav could sneak in some lab work he had forgotten about, and watched Collin Monday morning. She took him to the ward playdate, Valentine party and made sure he had a Valentine box. When we got home from the hospital, we were greeted by a big Welcome Home sign that the boys helped her color and some gorgeous hydrangea's. She had cleaned the kitchen and living room and made sure all was perfect for when we got home. Then, she called nearly every day for the rest of the week to see if I needed anything. I couldn't have asked for a better friend! Thanks Rach!

 Well, as much as I was looking forward to a relaxing hospital stay, I was ready to ditch that place after one night. Those nurses were pesky! I felt like I had a revolving door. And then I made the mistake of letting some students come in and check me and the baby. They were as slow as molasses and spent over 1/2 hour just doing vitals. Even after I put up the "Do Not Disturb" sign, people kept coming in. Thankfully, since I was healing fine, and Weston was doing great, we got the go ahead to be discharged Monday night. Weston got his snip snipping done in the morning and I was told he slept right through it! What a champ. :) Megan and Crescent came to see us right before we were discharged, which was so nice of them. That's when Megan took those pictures. They also showered Weston with some cute outfits, blankets, and the most adorable, crocheted beanie. Megan also got Collin a new toy, which he LOVED.

The drive home was uneventful... just covered in snow... and we even had about an hour to ourselves, before Tiffany dropped Collin off. She had been watching him all afternoon, took him to a craft night at the YMCA, gave him a bath and delivered him as happy as could be. She was so sweet and insistent on keeping him as long as she could, so we could get settled at home. I was so grateful!

Since my mom couldn't come out until Saturday, we were completely spoiled rotten by friends during the week. We had delicious meals brought in every day and Denyse, Megan, and Crescent took Collin on Wednesday and Thursday so I could rest. I was so overwhelmed by everyone's kindness. I'll admit that I was feeling really anxious about being home with two kids. Collin loves his baby brother, but in his excitement to give hugs and kisses, Weston gets a bit smushed. I really think he should have a helmet and something protective over his stomach to prevent any brother induced injuries. I was beyond thankful to have so many friends that were so willing to help and be there for me. Thank you, thank you!!

Well, I still have lots of catching up to do, but I will say that life with Weston is so sweet. He's such a good, little baby and so fun to hold and snuggle with. I felt like my recovery was leaps and bounds easier this time than with Collin. I'm feeling really good and now will just work on balancing life with two kids!
(Here he is all ready to leave the hospital!)

(This is a pic that Crescent took while she was watching him. He loves hats and glasses and she has two girls so this is what the result was! Mr. Cool :)

(A pic that Rach took while she had him. He loves "Gazins" as he calls him. What a cute couple :)